I'm Certain I Heard What You Didn't Say

This is us. The one showing lots of shoulder (in her Chengdu, China Marine Ball ball gown!) is the EFM who writes this blog. The one wearing a tux (James) is the employee who moves her (and their two sons) around all over the world. The red link, below, is how you can get in touch with me...

The time in Chengdu, China

Chengdu: city of fabulous food and beautiful Buddhist monasteries!

In Our Same Boat (with State)

Beyond the Cornfields
Brand-new State Department family in Dhaka, Bangladesh. Love their two little girls (she just recently had a baby while being posted in Dhaka), horticulture, traveling and adventure!
Email From The Embassy
State Department family formerly in Beijing, China, and recently posted to Amman, Jordan. A trailing spouse, she's also a writer, and frequently publishes articles with major news sources. A very experienced State family, this new post is something like overseas post number six or seven for them.
Just US
A beautiful family of seven - they have arrived at their new post: Jerusalem! They just finished off an unaccompanied tour to Iraq and are very much looking forward to sightseeing around the middle east.
Our Life
State Department family on their second post...Tijuana, Mexico. It's their first overseas assignment and they have two little boys. They love Tijuana so far and post pictures frequently! They also get to enjoy the best of both worlds for they can sneak over the border into San Diego when they want to!
The Dinoia Family
State Department family formerly in California, now in DC for a DC tour. Next, the husband will do a one year unaccompanied tour. A very experienced State family (formerly in Iceland and Caracas) with a blog that has been around quite a while and has great archives. Jen has a sweet heart and a lot to give!
The Perlman Update
State Department family formerly in Chennai, India, who then did a year-long unaccompanied tour in Iraq. They are now on a DC tour and after that will do another unaccompanied tour (Afghanistan). She totally tells it like it is and doesn't sugar-coat what life is really like. Witty, snarky, funny and down-to-earth. Look elsewhere if you want fake. Read if you want REAL.
Where in the World Am I?
State Department family formerly in Bujumbura, Burundi and now in Hyderabad, India. They just had their first baby this summer - a beautiful little girl- (there's a separate blog about this) and she also eats gluten-free (with a separate blog, also).

One of the most intriguing things about Chengdu is that it is a seamless blend of ancient and modern... all together, side by side.

Can't Live Without (non-State)

Crass-Pollination: An ER blog
The best ER nurse blog EVER!
Doctor Grumpy in the House
The best doctor blog EVER!
In Which...
My IRL friend, a stay-at-home, homeschooling Mama of seven. Her darling daughters are, goshdarnit, probably too young to be hoped for as my future daughters-in-law.
The Crib Chick
My IRL friend, a stay-at-home, homeschooling Mama of five. Hopefully two (Any two! I'm not picky!) of which are my future daughters-in-law.
the underwear drawer
An anesthesiologist who is possibly the most talented & entertaining writer ever. I've read her blog ever since she started medical school. No, don't know her in real life. Wish I did.
The Bloggess
This blog is both hysterically funny and hilariously irreverent. I actually let my 17 year old son read it (who loves it as much as I do!), but wouldn't even CONSIDER letting my 12 year old son read it. Which is about all the description it needs!

The grounds of Chengdu monasteries can be very, very peaceful...even though they are smack dab in the heart of a city of millions of people.

Specifics

Blog powered by TypePad

« And Then Life was PERFECT! (Also: Score One for the DS Folks!) | Main | An Intro to ConGen: There's Good News, and There's Bad News. »

06/29/2011

I'm Certain I Heard What You Didn't Say

Okay, so.

Today was my first day of ConGen.

And it's obvious to me that my brain and I need to have a little talk with each other.

This is because my brain is not correctly hearing what the ConGen people are saying. Which, you know, could possibly be a problem.

I'll give you a little example.

Since it's the beginning of ConGen, and since ConGen is (I kid you not) a supremely well-oiled machine, they have begun by telling us what they will be telling us over the next many weeks.

You know, like any good presentation of new information: you tell people what you're going to be telling them, then you tell them what you want to tell them, then you remind them of what you told them. It's all about being clear.

So, today was them telling us all about what they're going to be telling us about. A day of introductions, if you will.

The only problem is that my brain can't hear what they're saying.

Case in point: Take the two basic kinds of visas. Immigrant visas (IV) and Nonimmigrant visas (NIV).

[See that? There are only two categories. TWO. This shouldn't be hard. This should be easy! But...]

Now, I have a bit of a medical background. So, when I hear/see the acronym "IV" I automatically think: Plastic tube in your wrist used to give you fluids, like in the hospital. Often keeps you from dying. Rather handy at times.

I also, throughout my life, have attended different forms of Presbyterian and Episcopal churches. Thus, when I hear/see "NIV" I automatically think: Kind of Bible translation. Different from KJV and NASV, etc. Christians like to argue about which one is better. Which is sort of lame.

And I'm not having this problem with just the two visa types - oh, no. The problem is far more widespread. For example...

I'm married to a federal law enforcement officer. When I hear/see "FAM" (some sort of book or manual or something?) I think: Federal Air Marshals. Fly around on planes and stuff. Keep the airways safe, etc. Sucks for them that they're part of TSA.

So in class today, this is what my brain heard:

"Welcome to ConGen! During your time here, you'll be learning about (plastic tubing that goes in your arm that's used to give a patient fluids in the hospital) and (a kind of Bible translation that is used by different churches). You'll also be hearing about (Federal Air Marshals flying around on planes)."

LOVELY.

It will be interesting if and when there will come a day when my brain will hear:

"Welcome to ConGen! During your time here, you'll be learning about (one specific type of visa) and (another specific type of visa). You'll also be hearing about (a manual of rules or something)."

But between now and then? Yeah. My brain needs to get itself together. And right quickly, might I add.

Because it's also hearing about lots of stock ticker symbols (!!) and brands of guns (!!!) all the time. Heaven help me - when "FAM" is used together with the acronym that is the same as a particular brand of gun (Federal Air Marshals! Guns! Those two *totally* make sense together! Don't make fun of me!) my brain goes 100% law enforcement and I have to drag it back, kicking and screaming, to the classroom full of acronyms it *thinks* it knows but it actually doesn't really.

But it's really super-nifty-fun to be back in the universe of all things legal/law-ish! For many years, I worked in the legal world. I've really missed it, so this is a treat.

(See also: ConGen doesn't start at 7:40 every single morning M-F like Chinese used to! Good heavens, what's not to like?!)

(And even FURTHER see: ConGen is entirely in English! ALL OF IT!! Every last word on every last page! It's all in English! GLORY HALLELUJAH!!)

Posted on 06/29/2011 at 07:20 PM in ConGen, FSI, Me, Training for Chengdu, China (2nd Post), TSA Sucks Royal | Permalink

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a01348134c1a0970c014e897c1612970d

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference I'm Certain I Heard What You Didn't Say:

Comments

You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

This is hilarious!

Posted by: Anne | 06/29/2011 at 07:32 PM

FAM - Foreign Affairs Manual = the "laws" of the FS. I hope your brain acts up soon!

Posted by: Sara Roy | 06/29/2011 at 08:07 PM

IV - of course it's IntraVenous. But what else could it be?!?! Oh...

Posted by: Heather Dray | 06/29/2011 at 08:22 PM

Technically, it isn't English. But it isn't as bad as Chinese. It shouldn't make an EFM want to hop in her POV and go home crying every day.

Posted by: Donna | 06/29/2011 at 09:02 PM

Aaaah, it's your brain trying to replace old acronyms with new ones!!! I thought for a moment that after Chinese you are having a hard time understanding English, which I could totally see happening, considering how much pressure your brain has been under...

Posted by: Daniela | 06/29/2011 at 09:17 PM

In English! Glory, glory hallelujah! Too bad you're speaking the wrong English acronymese... Don't worry... It will get better.

And... Getting a tiny glimpse of the "interesting" things Hubby does -- well, I think you're really going to love it. Except when you are banging your head against a wall. Remember Naoma's mantra, "Not wrong, just different..."

Seriously, though, I oh-so appreciate ConGen officers. They're keeping the world safe for democracy... Dealing with a lot of difficult issues (not just stamping visas...)

Posted by: TulipGirl | 06/30/2011 at 02:34 AM

Brain. On. Overload. Too. Many. Acronyms.

Posted by: Camille | 06/30/2011 at 05:40 AM

As Sara Roy noted above, FAM = Foreign Affairs Manual. These are the regulations by which the Department of State functions. There are also FAH (Foreign Affairs Handbooks); these further explicate various FAMs.

Good luck!

Posted by: Consul-At-Arms | 06/30/2011 at 07:09 AM

I am so with you on this. And for me, coming from California, everytime I see CA I think California - not Consular Affairs.

Nice meeting you in the ConGen halls earlier today.

Posted by: CC | 06/30/2011 at 08:10 AM

We used to have that problem at home when Neil was Branch Chief for the MSG Branch (Marine Security Guard) while I was heading up an MSG at church (Mother's Support Group). He'd say, "your MSG or mine?" And never mind if we were discussing food additives!

Posted by: Amy | 06/30/2011 at 11:44 AM

yea, I'm not entirely sure it's English. In fact, I laughed when they said that the FAM was the translation of the INA legalese. Doesn't seem too clear to me.

Anyway, don't panic! The first days are overwhelming. Then you'll get into the groove. YAY!

Posted by: bfiles | 06/30/2011 at 06:37 PM

Acronyms can drive you crazy.. When I joined everyone was talking about the number of cables you'd have to prepare. I kept thinking network / phone cables and why aren't any of them installed to begin with?

Posted by: Dan | 07/01/2011 at 08:39 AM

You've been featured on this week's State Department Roundup. Check it out at www.theworldthatwelivein.com

If you'd rather not be included this week, please let me know and I'll remove you.

Thanks for writing such a great blog!

Posted by: brooke | 07/08/2011 at 07:47 AM

I so dislike acronyms. In USAID (I worked for a public health contractor), they can commonly run to 5 letters -- impossible for me to say.

I did once have a new contracts officer in our company tell me that the FAM was the Family Affairs Manual -- as if!

Good luck! ConGen is fun.

Posted by: Cindy @ enclos*ure | 07/11/2011 at 05:38 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

James loves me. And our sons. And his job. But not having his picture taken. In 2011 he finished up over a year and half of training, and in the fall of 2011 we got to our first overseas post - Chengdu, China!