So, after my post yesterday (detailing our bidding misery), I got a TON of super helpful input from my friends and family. You know, great new ideas and information and, like, tips and stuff. Things James and I had never thought of before!
For example, a super awesome girlfriend of mine who will go unnamed... let's call her, oh, I don't know, Donna... went on to my Facebook page yesterday (the very same Facebook page I can't see/access because, as I've said a thousand times, I don't have a working VPN) and helpfully suggested that James bid for the disabled Carnival Cruise ship that is currently sloshing around human feces.
James would, Donna kindly noted, have to temper his new-found bidding hope with the reality that, of course, he probably wouldn't get it... but "ARSO Disabled Feces-Sloshing Cruise Ship?!" SIGN. US. UP!
Real Post Reports doesn't yet have an entry for Disabled Feces-Sloshing Cruise Ship, so I had to hit The Googles for more info. Good news, you guys: it really doesn't look half bad!
I found some pictures of the housing...
You guys, do you know what this means?!?! No mosquitoes = no Dengue and no Malaria! Oh HELLS to the yes!
It doesn't get any easier than the housing's bathroom arrangement...
Couple all of this with the fact that I have ALWAYS wanted to go on a cruise, and I'm hoping against hope that I will soon be Mrs. ARSO Disabled Feces-Sloshing Cruise Ship. I know the odds are against us because it will probably have 50+ bids on it by the end of the weekend (just like everything else overseas always has), but a girl can dream.
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Meanwhile, back in the HOME OF MISERY, James and I had the following conversation:
James: Well. So. I guess we talk about the domestic bid list.
me: Why not? We've already established that it has Arkansas on it. What else?
James: Um, let's see. (::rifles through bidlist::) There's also... Detroit.
me: There are still people living in Detroit?
me: I thought Detroit, like, closed or something.
James: Guess not.
me: Wait - I remember reading something about Detroit in the news a couple of weeks ago. Isn't the Detroit Chamber of Commerce, like, giving free houses away to anyone who promises to move there or something?
me (continuing): Does Detroit get Danger Pay?
James: ::deeper sigh::
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Of course, after yesterday's blog post, a whole lot of people came out in favor of Hot Springs, Arkansas, including another girlfriend of mine who will go unnamed, but let's call her... I don't know... Jen.
So Jen and I were emailing each other back and forth. And Jen, who is, as I am, very budget-conscious, was quick to point out one of Hot Springs' selling points...
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Jen: It's so CHEAP!
me: Well, if you're going for cheap, then Hot Springs is horrifyingly expensive compared to DETROIT.
Jen (always trying to be helpful and lift people's spirits): Detroit! If we were bidding, we'd be jumping on Detroit!
me: You've got to be kidding. Tell me you're kidding.
Jen: You can buy a house downtown for $5,000!
me: But then... you'd... own a house in Detroit.
~ ~ ~
But Jen was not swayed away from the budgetary financial wonderment that is the promise of Detroit, and she even began sending me Yay! Detroit! sorts of website links, one of which included, in pertinent part, and I am NOT making this up:
"In New York, you're a sparrow. In Detroit, you're a prized canary. This is Mecca for you, Mr. or Ms. Would-be Transplant... No other major metropolitan area will out-welcome Detroit's welcome. Give us your newcomers with moxie and talent. We'll mentor you, invest in you and invite you to parties."
Detroit wants to invite me to parties?
Look, Detroit. Not to be an obnoxious hag or anything (except I am), but I don't even go to parties in CHENGDU. Ask anyone here at post. So thank you so much for the very, very warm and very, very enthusiastic welcome, but no. No, we're not bidding on you.
Wait a minute - let me couch that.
If it so happens that the only things left on the bidlist are Hot Springs, Arkansas, Detroit, Michigan, and MSD (which it well may in the very near future), then James will be lobbying for Detroit like it's Brussels and London and The Hague all mixed together. But until then, no. NO we are NOT bidding Detroit.