I love - LOVE - Chinglish.
I'm out shopping or I'm out doing whatever and I see things like
I love Chinglish because I love the English language and when I come across Chinglish it's incredibly amusing because it helps me understand just how badly I'm murdering their mother tongue when I try to speak to them in Chinese.
A couple of weeks ago, James was in Shanghai for A Work Thing. It was the first time he has ever been to Shanghai and he found it fascinating. Evidently (I didn't get to go with him as my children and I ARE ALWAYS SICK) Shanghai is MUCH more western than Chengdu and even much different than Beijing. James really liked it. He took a couple pictures with the iTouch when he was there:
While he was in the Shanghai shopping district, he came across a tshirt for sale:
In order to fully appreciate the bizarreness of this tshirt, you would have to be familiar with the former (now dead, but his pickled body is on display in Beijing!) Chinese leader Mao Tse-Tung (or Mao Zedong, depending upon how you feel like spelling it) who, depending upon whom you ask, is either the most awesomest Chinese leader ever in the history of China (who single-handedly brought China into the modern era)... or the most horrifying dictator China has ever had (who was responsible for the deaths of millions of his own citizens).
So, you know. Tshirt = WOW.
And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
~ ~ ~
Oh, yes. Have we discussed sex and relationships in China?
So you're out walking in any city in mainland China, and you will see no, and I do mean ZERO, PDA (public displays of affection). It is seldom that couples even hold hands while walking down the street. In contrast to the U.S., you will see no hugging, no kissing, NO NOTHING, here in China, and the only reason why you will know that physical relationships go on behind closed doors is because, um, well, there are still people in China.
That and the condoms for sale everywhere.
Yes, in DIRECT contrast to the U.S., there is NO PDA, but there are condoms for sale everywhere. (Whereas in the U.S., there is PDA everywhere and condoms are hidden away, barely to be seen.)
But here, there are condom machines (they are very discreet, but they are still condom machines) on the sidewalks. There are condoms for sale right next to the cash registers in the local convenience stores. There are even, and I am not making this up, huge displays of condoms for sale as you are standing in the checkout lines at the grocery stores.
You know, in the U.S., how, when you're about to hit the register at a grocery store, as you're standing there, waiting, you're standing amongst sugary treats and People magazines? Well, at my local grocery store here in Chengdu, instead of candy or magazines at the register, instead there's a huge display of condoms for sale.
And they're, you know, pretty obviously condoms.
[My very proper, very ladylike mother has just disowned me for posting a picture of screw thread condoms on my blog. I hope my father is still speaking to me?]
But, really, it is so interesting to me how different things are here. Condoms for sale everywhere here but no one publicly holds hands or hugs or kisses.... but in the U.S. people are slobbering all over each other making out all over the place in public but condoms aren't really for sale anywhere at all (comparatively).
Yes, I know that you have NO IDEA what this is a picture of.
That is because you do no live in my home.
Nor do you live with my 19-year-old son, Matthew.
THAT, my friends, is a picture of a toaster.
A TOASTER THAT IS BUSY REHEATING LEFTOVER PIZZA.
Because, evidently, pizza reheated in the microwave is "gross and smooshy," whereas pizza warmed up in the toaster (!!!!!!!!) is vastly superior in both taste and texture.
It has been determined (not by me, of course, but by my son) that the pizza must be inserted crust-first into the toaster for maximum reheating. So what you are seeing in the picture is the toaster with the triangular pizza ends sticking out of the top.
AND THIS IS MY LIFE.