Okay, Dear Readers! I know that y'all are super duper smart and I know that y'all have:
1.) Tons of common sense, and
2.) Been paying attention.
So let's play the fun game: "What Did James Do?"
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REAL LIFE SCENARIO: Yesterday, all day long, James and I were engaged in a very emotional epic battle with Someone (doesn't matter who they are) about Something (doesn't matter what it is, except to say that is has nothing to do with James's job. I figured that had to be said just so people didn't, like, freak the heck out or whatever).
At one point late in the afternoon yesterday, after emotional volleys back and forth with said Someone about said Something, James had to choose between:
1.) Me, and
2.) Another Random Person.
I know this is going to be hard, but POP QUIZ, YOU GUYS: Who do you think James chose?
[In real life I think Someone was CERTAIN that James was going to choose Another Random Person over me. To which I say:]
[Except I'm a girl.]
So then, later in the afternoon, James got to the point where he was DONE with the back and forth and he put an end to it all, in my favor, of course. Duh. And he did a good job of it, too. Very decided-like and with no ambiguities about exactly where his allegiance lies. And I was all:
[Except, again, I'm a girl.]
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So, yeah, yesterday I was pretty much shaking with rage and I didn't get a whole lot done. I didn't even get a chance to respond to Donna's totally insanely awesome, moved-me-to-tears blog post about...me. (Spoiler alert: My name is Kolbi. Just in case you didn't know that).
But I can't very well respond to awesome and insanely flattering blog posts written by incredibly talented ladies who are, like, a hundred zillion times wittier than I am if I'm locked in an emotional epic battle and shaking with rage. So tune in next time when I try really really hard to figure out how in the WORLD I'm going to respond to Donna's blog post without falling flat on my untalented face. Wish me luck.
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p.s. My VPN isn't working right now. Which means that I can't open Donna's blog post. In fact, you wanna hear something SUPER lame? Since I don't have a working VPN right now, and since I can't read any blogs, Donna literally - I'm not making this up, you guys - had to EMAIL ME a copy of what she wrote about me on her blog so that I could actually read it.
I can't even go read any of the comments (I'm assuming there are comments? Her blog is the most well-read and well-known State blog out there** and so there HAVE to be comments) and see if anyone has actually signed up for the Panda Raffle. IN ADDITION TO THAT, in order for me to be able to link back to her blog post about me, she had to then email me the link.
[UPDATE: Please see this blog post's comments section for the negotiated stipulations that Donna and I engaged in over this sentence.]
I am not making any of this up; this is the fun world of life without a VPN.*** If all that's not all manner of FAIL, I don't know what is.
[***Mercifully, Donna did a three-year tour in Beijing, so Donna totally gets the China thing.]
FURTHERMORE, because I don't have a working VPN right now, I cannot get onto Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, Hulu, Pandora, or do pretty much anything online that makes life worth living.
p.p.s. No, the air outside isn't better yet; it's actually worse. But thank you for asking.
p.p.p.s. No, James doesn't have any onward assignment yet. Yes, he's a leftover summer bidder from last year. There are lots of us around, from what I gather. Yes, the winter bid list comes out in about a week. No, I have no clue when we'll hear something. Yes, all FSO summer bidders have long been paneled months and months ago, and if they're leaving Chengdu they're all going to fantastic places. That's life. Yes, they'll have to assign James something someday; his replacement has long ago been chosen and will be headed here at some point. This bidding limbo is life in DS. If you're a DS applicant or a new hire, I figure it's good for you to hear these things. Which is why I blog about them.