A Daring Adventure

Changes

Oh, so much to say.  I think I will number it all.


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1.)




Today is the tenth anniversary of September 11th, so, of course, lots of people have been writing about that.  Where they were, what they were doing, etc.


I was on my way to work, listening to the radio.  Which went from music to news and then... stayed news.


I called my Dad and told him to turn on the tv.  "What channel?"  he asked me.  "Any of them," I told him, and then hung up and called James.


James wasn't a police officer much longer after that.  With the creation of Homeland Security/TSA came new federal job opportunities, and James was fortunate enough to be selected for one.


Going through TSA lines at various airports these last few days while flying around visiting family, I have encountered TSA folks many times.  And though I have railed against TSA on my blog (I even have an entire CATEGORY called "TSA Sucks Royal," which is actually a very popular Google referral to my blog), aspects of the job were incredibly beneficial for James. 


I mean, at one point, he literally managed a federal employee workforce of over 200 people!  How many folks in leadership positions at State have had that kind of federal management experience?  Precious few, right?  There just aren't that many positions available that come with that volume of leadership, because State is so much smaller than Homeland Security.  And James was an excellent, excellent manager, who led by example and with kindness, fairness and respect.  So thank you, TSA, for your positive aspects.


Yes, September 11th was horrible, and I remember it today.


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2.)  I also stand with Jill Perlman and with Jen Dinoia, two dear, dear friends of mine who are also both State bloggers, who remember their friend's son who perished in the DC area flooding a few days ago.  He was twelve years old, the same exact age as my younger son, Zachary.  I cannot even fathom losing my Zachary.  My heart goes out to that family. 


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3.)  I, like Diplopundit (here and here), simply must write about the recent State blogger disappearances. 


If you are not too terribly familiar with the State blogosphere, you may not know that, very recently, two of my favorite blogs have gone dark**: Sass and Sweet and Muttering Behind the Hardline.


[**Which is a nice way of saying that they have been deleted.  Which is a nice way of saying that they probably didn't just decide some random day that they just randomly felt like shutting down.] 


Being a State blogger has never been a safe, risk-free endeavor.  There are many, many bloggers I know whose blogs have not gone dark but who have come under very heavy fire. 


You may notice that my own blog's sidebars (and some former blog posts) have been re-designed today.  Some things that used to be there are gone.  Some things that were not there before have newly appeared.  I'm not going to enumerate the changes, but I am going to ask that if you notice what they are, that you trust me and trust my judgment.  That I took down what I did for a reason.  That I have put up what I have for one, too. 


That, like all other bloggers, I'm doing my best to try to navigate these funky waters. 

I'm Certain I Heard What You Didn't Say

Okay, so.


Today was my first day of ConGen.


And it's obvious to me that my brain and I need to have a little talk with each other.


This is because my brain is not correctly hearing what the ConGen people are saying.  Which, you know, could possibly be a problem.


I'll give you a little example.


Since it's the beginning of ConGen, and since ConGen is (I kid you not) a supremely well-oiled machine, they have begun by telling us what they will be telling us over the next many weeks.


You know, like any good presentation of new information: you tell people what you're going to be telling them, then you tell them what you want to tell them, then you remind them of what you told them. It's all about being clear.


So, today was them telling us all about what they're going to be telling us about. A day of introductions, if you will.


The only problem is that my brain can't hear what they're saying.


Case in point:  Take the two basic kinds of visas. Immigrant visas (IV) and Nonimmigrant visas (NIV).


[See that?  There are only two categories. TWO. This shouldn't be hard. This should be easy! But...]


Now, I have a bit of a medical background. So, when I hear/see the acronym "IV" I automatically think: Plastic tube in your wrist used to give you fluids, like in the hospital. Often keeps you from dying. Rather handy at times.


I also, throughout my life, have attended different forms of Presbyterian and Episcopal churches. Thus, when I hear/see "NIV" I automatically think: Kind of Bible translation. Different from KJV and NASV, etc. Christians like to argue about which one is better. Which is sort of lame.


And I'm not having this problem with just the two visa types - oh, no. The problem is far more widespread.  For example...


I'm married to a federal law enforcement officer. When I hear/see "FAM" (some sort of book or manual or something?) I think: Federal Air Marshals. Fly around on planes and stuff. Keep the airways safe, etc. Sucks for them that they're part of TSA.


So in class today, this is what my brain heard:


"Welcome to ConGen! During your time here, you'll be learning about (plastic tubing that goes in your arm that's used to give a patient fluids in the hospital) and (a kind of Bible translation that is used by different churches). You'll also be hearing about (Federal Air Marshals flying around on planes)."


LOVELY.


It will be interesting if and when there will come a day when my brain will hear:


"Welcome to ConGen! During your time here, you'll be learning about (one specific type of visa) and (another specific type of visa). You'll also be hearing about (a manual of rules or something)."


But between now and then?   Yeah.  My brain needs to get itself together. And right quickly, might I add.


Because it's also hearing about lots of stock ticker symbols (!!) and brands of guns (!!!) all the time. Heaven help me - when "FAM" is used together with the acronym that is the same as a particular brand of gun (Federal Air Marshals! Guns! Those two *totally* make sense together! Don't make fun of me!) my brain goes 100% law enforcement and I have to drag it back, kicking and screaming, to the classroom full of acronyms it *thinks* it knows but it actually doesn't really.


But it's really super-nifty-fun to be back in the universe of all things legal/law-ish! For many years, I worked in the legal world. I've really missed it, so this is a treat.


(See also: ConGen doesn't start at 7:40 every single morning M-F like Chinese used to! Good heavens, what's not to like?!)


(And even FURTHER see: ConGen is entirely in English! ALL OF IT!! Every last word on every last page! It's all in English! GLORY HALLELUJAH!!)

And Then Life was PERFECT! (Also: Score One for the DS Folks!)

I am very, very proud (you have no idea how proud) to say:


**JAMES GOT HIS 2/2 TODAY IN CHINESE!** 


Holy cow, you guys, this is awesome for so many reasons, not the least of which is that DS folks right now are being put under the microscope in language training in a BIG WAY. 


Because of that, and because of many family reasons (I'll get to them in a sec), this test was SUPER high stress and SUPER high stakes.


For example, who in the world wants their CDO contacted and Post contacted and told that they didn't/couldn't make their required language score and thus... (fade to unknown)?!


No one, that's who.  And especially not my husband. 


But there was also a lot of pressure on him because he scheduled his test 2 weeks earlier than the end date of his class.  The reason he scheduled his test that early is:





So get this.  James has been a Boy Scout leader/Scoutmaster/Assistant Scoutmaster since Matthew (our 17-yr-old) was in kindergarten (Tigers).  Matthew is now an Eagle Scout.  During all those years, never once (never once!) has James been able to go to Boy Scout summer camp.  His job situation never let him.  (Reason why I hate TSA # 7,975,233.)


But Matthew turns 18 soon and won't be a Boy Scout any longer.  And this is the last summer we're in the US for at least a few years.  Thus, next week is James' first and last chance to go on a Boy Scout summer camp trip with both boys, and they are scheduled to leave in just a few days.


So not only was our going-to-Chengdu schedule on the line... not only was the rest of James' training schedule on the line... not only were phone calls to his CDO and Post on the line... not only was the threat of SIX MORE WEEKS OF CHINESE on the line... but also my husband's only chance to go to Boy Scout camp with our two boys was on the line when James took his language test this morning (two weeks early). 


I can't even begin to describe how happy we are.  I got the score I needed yesterday and James got the score he needed this morning. 


And you know what?  This is a fun little tidbit.


I have heard - I cannot verify, of course, but I have heard - from both my husband's classmates AND a few of his teachers - that James was the VERY FIRST ONE of his Chinese cohort (which is very large - something between 20 and 30 students) to get a 2/2.


**Score one for the DS folks!!** 


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This is the part of the blog post where I wholeheartedly thank all of our Chinese instructors and the Chinese Department management. 


Oh. My. Goodness. 


To say that the teachers care is an understatement.  Yes, learning Chinese is SO hard... the length of the course is SO discouraging sometimes... the goal often seems SO impossible... but all of our teachers have hearts of gold and want more than anything to see us succeed. 


You guys should have seen it today. 


After James left the testing center and came back to the Chinese corridors, he was/we were surrounded by his teachers and my teachers all hugging us and all being so thrilled for us.  And I cried and James even got misty-eyed and the teachers were all so happy and proud.  It was such a wonderful time.


So thank you, Chinese teachers.  Thank you, Chinese Department.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.


And thank you, everyone, for your encouragement and your prayers.


WE DID IT!!!

I Could Be Google! (And Other Disturbing Ideas)

 

My blog has really nifty analytics.


And I wholeheartedly admit- one of my favorite things to do is scroll through the recent Google/Ask.com/Whatever search terms that have brought people to my blog's door.  I know, I know.  I'm weird. 


And, sometimes, when I scroll through the recent Google (or whatever) search terms that bring people to my blog, I realize that I could often do an even BETTER job than Google! 

For behold- I will give you a list.  An honest-to-goodness list of search terms that have brought people to my blog recently.  You just tell me if you think I don't do a better job than Google:


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"Find Nairobi Sugar Mama"


DUDE.  That one is EASY!   Here she is (Lees on the Go)!  Well, and pretty soon you can even hit up my dear friend Tulip Girl, because Nairobi soon will have TWO Sugar Mamas. 


I'm not quite sure why someone in Norway is looking for Nairobi Sugar Mamas... but I'm sure you have your reasons.  Just please don't tell me what they are.




"Oakwood Chengdu"


Oh dear GOD.  Are you trying to give me some sort of stroke??!?  Is there SERIOUSLY an Oakwood in Chengdu!?!?  WILL I HAVE TO STAY IN IT!?!?!


Whoever you are, you hate me.  WHY do you hate me?  Why??  WHY???




"Mandarin Self Deprecation"


Um, yes.  Right here.  I pretty much have this one in the bag.  And I'm sure it will only get worse as I start language training at FSI in November.  Speaking of...




"FSI Chinese Progress"


My husband is doing really, really well, of course, since he's brilliant.  However, last night he told me that's he's officially changing his Native American name (listen up, Donna!) from "Fits Crap in Minivan" (story here).... to:

"Looks Like Hell." 


This is because his classmates are noticing the toll it takes on a married man with two older, homeschooled children (and a frighteningly needy wife... Honestly, why did he marry that unhelpful hag?), and they are constantly saying to him, "Dude, you look like hell."  So this is his new Native American name, poor guy.  


As for me and my future FSI progres, I'm sure it will be abysmal...but at least I'm going to try!  Stay tuned...

"State Department Blog Roundup"

Oooh, this one is my spech-ee-alll-ee-tay! 


Let's see... yesterday Lydia at the blog Here, There & Everywhere did the RoundUp (thank you, Lydia!), since it's put out on Fridays!   If you want to host, let me know!  And we're ALWAYS looking for audience/State blogger participation!

"Can I Take My Family on an Unaccompanied Tour"


Um, probably not.  I mean, maybe your spouse/EFM can go, if they can get a job at that future post (see:  Nick & Liz Go Global), and sometimes maybe other grown (adult) dependants can go, if they also get a job at your future post, but mostly:  NO.




"Ladies in Need of Daring Adventures"


Sounds like a great Facebook group!  Or maybe a great book title?  However, all the ladies I know are right smack dab in the middle of their own daring adventures!  For further info, check my sidebars...




"Asian Daring Outfit Public"

Stay tuned.  In about a year or so, when I'm wheels-down in China, I bet I'll have plenty of these sorts of pictures for you!

 

"Bujumbura Pregnant FS Blog"

 

The blogger formerly known as the Bujumbura Pregnant FS Blog (Where in the World Am I?) can currenty be called the New Mother Leaving Soon for India Blog.  Stop by her blog and wish her luck!

"Picture of Eagle Scout"

On my sidebars, left, toward the top. 




"Diplomatic Security Service Register"


Making it through the hiring process sucks.  Been there, done that. 

It's nail-biting and just plain emotionally exhausting.  I wish all applicants lots and lots of luck.  The job is WELL worth all the pain and agony of the hiring process.  Times infinity.  So hang in there!  Beacuse life gets a million times better when you get off the Register and onto the Class List!  

"The TSA Sucks"

True dat, my friend.  True dat! 

Let's Talk Money: One Little Word Can SCREW STUFF UP, Y'ALL!

And I'm not kidding.


Okay, so there I was in the kitchen today, baking Emily's celebratory Chess Bars (I'll post the recipe in the comments section) and doing nothing much else in particular, when James called me and we had the following rather unpleasant conversation:


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JAMES:

So get THIS.  You know those vouchers, right?



ME:

The vouchers?  The vouchers that you submitted from when we PCSed (moved) from Texas to DC and also from our househunting trip?  And spent all that money out of pocket for all those things?  And we were seeking reimbursement?



JAMES:

Yeah, THOSE vouchers. 



ME:

The vouchers that haven't been paid yet, right?  The ones that we were hoping would be paid last week?

JAMES:

Yeah, THOSE vouchers.  Well, turns out that my Orders were somehow written wrong, and the Voucher Payment People (okay, those weren't James' exact words, because he knows darn well who the Voucher Payment People are, but I don't remember stuff that techincal) CAN'T PAY MY VOUCHERS because there's ONE WORD on my Orders that's wrong. 



ME:

One word wrong?  On your Orders?  And because of that one word on your Orders that's wrong, your vouchers can't be paid? 



JAMES:

Yes. 



ME:

?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

What is the one wrong word?  What's going on??



JAMES:

Turns out, they didn't label you as a "Spouse" on my vouchers.  They labeled you only as an "EFM Adult" instead of as my wife, or "EFM Spouse."  And thus, they can't pay anything on the voucher claimed because of you.  Because according to my Orders, WE'RE NOT MARRIED.

ME:

And so - ???



JAMES:

And SO, my orders have to be changed so that you and I are MARRIED and so that I can resubmit my vouchers so that I can maybe then get reimbursed.



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And so, there you have it, dear Readers.  James and I are not currently married (according to his Orders as written).  We have to get married on his Orders so that he can then have his vouchers paid.


Which is, actually, sort of fun.  We already sorta had a wedding this week; we got married on Facebook.  And, as everyone knows, unless a relationship is all public and stuff on Facebook, it's like it doesn't exist.  Or at least, that's what I've heard.  (I have to rely on hearsay, for I was never single and on Facebook at the same time.  Because I'm OLD.  I don't know if there was INTERNET before James and I got married.  Seriously.)


Now, I'm not complaining.  I'm honestly and truly not.  Because back when we were with the soul sucking evil demons, they wouldn't have even CONSIDERED helping us move.  In fact, they stuck James and me on opposite sides of the United States and wouldn't even let us see each other, and James never got so much as a penny for anything - not per diem or travel or relocation or anything.  Heck, those bastards didn't even let him take his own annual leave he had accrued in order to fly home (on our own dime, all the way) and visit his wife and children (over the course of the almost two years they kept him a prisoner).  So we know how bad BAD can be; there's a REASON why TSA sucks so royal (right, Skeptical Bureaucrat?).


But the reason why I'm blogging about this is because, before James got hired by State, I honestly and truly did not know just how much money families with State often have to float... or how often.  You're moving, you're in flux, you have to pay out of pocket sometimes for lots of things (probably with DS a lot more than as a regular FSO, but that's just an educated guess of mine), and I didn't really understand that very well.  James and I are not going to starve; all is well; the vouchers will get fixed at some point and paid - but if it could help anyone with this knowledge, I wanted the information to be out there. 


Because some of the expenses that are now in paperwork limbo are from August.  So, you know- it can sometimes be a while.