Turns Out: I Haven't *Completely Destroyed* My Husband's Career!!

This is us. The one showing lots of shoulder (in her Chengdu, China Marine Ball ball gown!) is the EFM who writes this blog. The one wearing a tux (James) is the employee who moves her (and their two sons) around all over the world. The red link, below, is how you can get in touch with me...

The time in Chengdu, China

Chengdu: city of fabulous food and beautiful Buddhist monasteries!

In Our Same Boat (with State)

Beyond the Cornfields
Brand-new State Department family in Dhaka, Bangladesh. Love their two little girls (she just recently had a baby while being posted in Dhaka), horticulture, traveling and adventure!
Email From The Embassy
State Department family formerly in Beijing, China, and recently posted to Amman, Jordan. A trailing spouse, she's also a writer, and frequently publishes articles with major news sources. A very experienced State family, this new post is something like overseas post number six or seven for them.
Just US
A beautiful family of seven - they have arrived at their new post: Jerusalem! They just finished off an unaccompanied tour to Iraq and are very much looking forward to sightseeing around the middle east.
Our Life
State Department family on their second post...Tijuana, Mexico. It's their first overseas assignment and they have two little boys. They love Tijuana so far and post pictures frequently! They also get to enjoy the best of both worlds for they can sneak over the border into San Diego when they want to!
The Dinoia Family
State Department family formerly in California, now in DC for a DC tour. Next, the husband will do a one year unaccompanied tour. A very experienced State family (formerly in Iceland and Caracas) with a blog that has been around quite a while and has great archives. Jen has a sweet heart and a lot to give!
The Perlman Update
State Department family formerly in Chennai, India, who then did a year-long unaccompanied tour in Iraq. They are now on a DC tour and after that will do another unaccompanied tour (Afghanistan). She totally tells it like it is and doesn't sugar-coat what life is really like. Witty, snarky, funny and down-to-earth. Look elsewhere if you want fake. Read if you want REAL.
Where in the World Am I?
State Department family formerly in Bujumbura, Burundi and now in Hyderabad, India. They just had their first baby this summer - a beautiful little girl- (there's a separate blog about this) and she also eats gluten-free (with a separate blog, also).

One of the most intriguing things about Chengdu is that it is a seamless blend of ancient and modern... all together, side by side.

Can't Live Without (non-State)

Crass-Pollination: An ER blog
The best ER nurse blog EVER!
Doctor Grumpy in the House
The best doctor blog EVER!
In Which...
My IRL friend, a stay-at-home, homeschooling Mama of seven. Her darling daughters are, goshdarnit, probably too young to be hoped for as my future daughters-in-law.
The Crib Chick
My IRL friend, a stay-at-home, homeschooling Mama of five. Hopefully two (Any two! I'm not picky!) of which are my future daughters-in-law.
the underwear drawer
An anesthesiologist who is possibly the most talented & entertaining writer ever. I've read her blog ever since she started medical school. No, don't know her in real life. Wish I did.
The Bloggess
This blog is both hysterically funny and hilariously irreverent. I actually let my 17 year old son read it (who loves it as much as I do!), but wouldn't even CONSIDER letting my 12 year old son read it. Which is about all the description it needs!

The grounds of Chengdu monasteries can be very, very peaceful...even though they are smack dab in the heart of a city of millions of people.

Specifics

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01/11/2012

Turns Out: I Haven't Completely Destroyed My Husband's Career!!

How do I know this?

Because the other morning we woke up to the awesome newz (delivered to us via my husband's Blackberry, who I long ago bitchily nicknamed "Your Girlfriend," as in I call out "Your girlfriend wants you!" when it rings or buzzes, so at least she delivers good news occasionally!) that

MY HUSBAND JUST GOT TENURE!!

That's right: on his first try!

Now, this is a big deal for anyone, right? I mean, going from new-employee-who-can-be-fired-at-will-for-any-reason to real-employee-who-gets-to-actually-keep-this-job-long-term is a big deal no matter *who* you are. We will be able to eat! And have health insurance! WOO-HOO!

But there are bigger reasons why this is awesome, as well. First of all, from a professional standpoint, James was worried because between getting hired and being up for tenure, he's been almost permanently in training. The tenure process already is unknowable and mysterious, and the reasons why Person A gets it and Person B doesn't often aren't at all obvious or knowable, but the gossip has been that those who spend lots of time in training - particularly long-term language training like, oh, say, CHINESE, end up with EERs that are pretty much empty. Not. Good.

But then there was the OTHER reason to be worried that James wouldn't get tenure. The big, huge, OBVIOUS reason that James wouldn't get tenure.

Um, you're reading it.

Yes, my friends... THIS BLOG. This blog (written by James' loudmouth wife). She tries hard to be a good wife, bless her heart, but somehow her blog has gotten him in very deep trouble on multiple, multiple occasions. Official, deep trouble, complete with meetings with high up people and unpleasant conversations. On multiple occasions. For multiple reasons. Over the last few years. One meeting of which included discussions regarding his upcoming tenure process. The one he just got through, THANK GOD.

So yes, I was worried.

Over the years, this blog has disappeared and reappeared. It has gone from having lots of State links on its sidebars and linking to other State bloggers to... not having or doing those things (very much). It often hosted the Weekly Blog RoundUp (back to that in a second). You get what I'm trying to say.

In fact, did you, by chance, read last month's edition of the Foreign Service Journal (the December 2011 issue)? If you did, you might have seen the extremely well-written article (starting on page 13, and can be found here) by my dear friend, Matt Keene, regarding State Department bloggers and some of the extremely unpleasant things that have happened to them behind closed doors. And if you read that article, you read several items about my blog and some of the things that have happened to James and me because of it. You just didn't know that those parts were about me and James because I hadn't told you yet. But now you know.

The trouble James and I have received has weighed on us heavily. I have cried. Oh, how I have cried. I have offered a thousand times (begged, actually, some of them) to delete/be allowed to delete this blog in order to stop my husband from getting into trouble over and over again. The trouble which comes out of nowhere and can never be predicted. The trouble which comes only because some at State hate blogs and blogging.

But James has never let me. And he has further told me to keep doing what I do and keep being who I am. To be brave. On multiple occasions, he has told me those things. Over many years. Continuously.

Blogging is very high stakes if you are an employee or EFM with State. I cannot describe how high the stakes are. Better, kinder, more talented bloggers than I have been forced to delete their blogs. Behind closed doors, careers have been destroyed. And no, I'm not talking about Mr. Publish-A-Book-About-Iraq-Guy or anything like that. I'm talking about normal people normally blogging about their normal lives. And then... they aren't. There are ALWAYS backstories. And I know some (most, perhaps?) of them. And I grieve for them. Because James and I have seen trouble, but are still here.

I wish they were, too.

The "Tigers" can be anyone, my friends. They can be anyone anywhere at State who can leverage any authority or have any influence over an employee. They're not just one department or one bureau or one piece of State or whatever. Sure, they can be that employee's boss, of course... but they can also be their boss's boss, or boss's boss's boss, or anyone at post, or anyone in that section of the world, or anyone anywhere high enough to have any say over what happens to that employee, or anyone in any lateral piece or department who doesn't like blogging in general or that blog in particular.

So today I celebrate that my husband now has tenure. Thank you, Tenure Granting People, thank you. Maybe you knew that James was THAT GUY whose wife has THAT BLOG... and maybe you didn't. Maybe it wasn't an issue whatsoever... and maybe it was. Maybe it was discussed and maybe it never came up. He certainly, certainly deserved to get it, because he's fabulous at what he does.

So, yes, the RoundUp.

Which is BACK! ON!

Because my dear friend Jill (The Perlman Update) has taken the RoudUp and run with it!

So Jill is hosting the first week of the RoundUp's resurrection (publish date January 20th) and then Jill will be the new RoundUp hostess from now on - so GO JILL! I look forward to seeing the RoundUp come back alive... helping people to connect with each other and helping us all share information about the crazy, fabulous, wonderful journey that this State life is. And I'm grateful to Jill and to everyone else who loved having the RoundUp around and wanted it to come back!

It's a good day!

And if anyone official is having or would like to have a *substantive* dialogue about State blogging policies and how to make them better for the future... and wants to actually include a real, live blogger who has been through the fires multiple times from multiple sources for no good reason whatsoever (only because some folks at State hate blogging even while others are actively championing it**)... you know where to find me. Because at some point, this has GOT to change.

** See that very first blog link on the right hand side of the official State.gov recruiting webpage? IT'S MINE.

Posted on 01/11/2012 at 05:30 PM in EFM Issues, Great Blog Deletion of 2010, Hosting the Weekly Blog RoundUp, James, James - State Department, Me, Posts referencing fellow State bloggers, Tigers & State Blogging Issues | Permalink

Comments

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Congrats to both of you. And it's good to know that one little old blog didn't lead to the end of diplomacy as we know it :)

Posted by: Wellthatwasdifferent.wordpress.com | 01/11/2012 at 10:48 PM

I'm still working on the tremendously entertaining image of James in a red,white and blue Mohawk. Now, everybody who knows him realizes that James wouldn't even have done that in high school for a costume party, even if the entire defensive line funneled a six-pack down his throat before they forcibly shaved his head. There'd be just as good a chance that he'd wear an XL rendition of Ralphie's pink bunny pjs in A Christmas Story. Come to think of it, let's all lobby for that one.

Posted by: Mom | 01/11/2012 at 11:17 PM

I'm so glad tenure is done so you don't have to think about it. It's a huge worry for anyone in the early years. The article by Matt is a good one and an important one. The effort made by some folks to suppress FS bloggers is shameful. That said, I'm frustrated because of something Matt mentioned and others glom onto about A100 being a suppressor. Often, I'm the one who is maligned for that although cleverly, the FSOs who are quoted use "blogged himself" instead of "herself" which is what they really mean. As you know, training is tough for everyone and the amount of information you get and the people you meet is overwhelming. A100 gets a bad blogging rap from people who just weren't paying attention. People aren't interchangeable and I do blog. I'm just not the one who told them not to. I wish I'd stop seeing this person quoted. I also hope that new spouses, families, and officers take your blog to heart (and this comment). Write. But don't misquote ;)

Posted by: Meridith | 01/12/2012 at 09:12 AM

Woohoo! Congratulations!

Posted by: Anne | 01/13/2012 at 10:28 AM

Congrats on making tenure!! And a huge thank-you for keeping this blog going even as you were walking through the fire!

Posted by: Melissa | 01/18/2012 at 04:36 AM

I love your mother's comment. She is a stitch!

Just trying to come here and channel my inner Kolbi as I write and edit the RoundUp ... oye!

Posted by: Jill | 01/18/2012 at 08:23 AM

Your blog is linked in the FS Blog RoundUp.

http://theperlmanupdate.blogspot.com/2012/01/its-fs-roundup-building-our-community.html

Posted by: Jill | 01/19/2012 at 09:04 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

James loves me. And our sons. And his job. But not having his picture taken. In 2011 he finished up over a year and half of training, and in the fall of 2011 we got to our first overseas post - Chengdu, China!