Back to the Drawing Board (Bidding, OF COURSE)

No, we didn't get anything from yesterday's panel.


I know, I know... it's the same outcome I already predicted. But the results from the panel were a slaughter for us and it hurt so much I'm laying in bed at 4:30 in the afternoon, blogging. Because that's the only thing that seems rational right now.


James and I both woke up this morning at about the same time and he reached over to the bedside table and picked up his Crackberry and there was the email from his CDO listing out for all of the leftover summer bidders (from last year - like what we are) which jobs had been given to other people. People who AREN'T US.


Again, for the eighth/ninth/tenth/I'velostcount time his bidlist was decimated, only this time - not only was his bidlist decimated but some things we had sort of been eyeing as backups (but hadn't yet bid on) were gone, as well. POOF, GONE. And when James told me THAT, as he hurriedly scrolled on his Crackberry, I wailed and then groaned and then basically collapsed in a heap and, here we are, at 4:30 in the afternoon, and I'm in bed and I've pretty much lost all hope.


All hope = GONE FROM THIS WORLD, YOU GUYS. 


And so, my friends, to celebrate the world being hopeless and all being lost, I have collected a series of gifs that, to me, really drive home what this last SIX MONTHS of bidding have been like.


Ready? Of course you are.


                                           ~   ~   ~


Initially, early on in our bidding adventure, every few weeks when James would get the email from his CDO detailing out which jobs had just been given to other people, as James read me the list from the email, one city/position after the other GONE GONE GONE from our own bid list, this would be me:

 

(Except I'm a girl. And also, please note: The above obscenities are clearly being said with a British accent, which makes them no longer obscenities at all.)


After a few months of getting nothing, the CDO's email would come and I would listen to what was newly GONE GONE GONE and I would be all:





In between panels, people at post would innocently ask me harmless questions like, "So, where are you guys going next?" and I would be all:



 
Ahem.


At this point? After finiding out that not only is EVERYTHING we even THOUGHT ABOUT BIDDING ON gone, but also that EVERYTHING we even CONSIDERED BIDDING ON AS A PLAN B is also gone, I'm pretty much






Catatonic. And so I'm laying in bed, blogging. 


Okay, so, here's a fun story relating to the above.


                                             ~   ~   ~


James called me from work today. He's just as shell-shocked as I am. We had the following conversation. I am not making any of this up:


*ring*


me:  Hello?


James: So get this.


me: Oh, mercy. What?

James (fake excitement): Guess what they just put out on the bidlist! 


me:  I could never.

James: Hot Springs, Arkansas!


me (confused): What?!

James (slowly, and with emphasis):   HOT.    SPRINGS.   ARKANSAS.


me (in a daze):  Hot?  Springs?  Arkansas?


James (continued fake excitement):  Yes. It gets better!


me (helplessly):  Better?


James:  It's part of the Miami Field Office!


me:  It's WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!  


James:  Yes. I kid you not. Our office in Hot Springs, Arkansas is part of the Miami Field Office. When the job first came out, it looked like it was in Miami... but it's actually in HOT SPRINGS, ARKANSAS.

me:  ::speechless::


James (after a long, long, long pause):  Exactly.


me:  So we.... joined the Foreign Service to.... move to... ARKANSAS?


James:  Evidently.


me (pondering):  How do you even figure out whether or not to bid on that?! Do you think I could look Hot Springs, Arkansas up on Real Post Reports? If so, what do you think it would say? 
 

James: hahahahahahahaha!! 

FIN


                                          ~   ~   ~


So that's where we are. We're at ARKANSAS. Just in case you were wondering. 

And no.  NO.  We are NOT bidding on Arkansas!!!


Wait - I had better couch that.


We will not be bidding on Arkansas until the only things left on the bid list are Arkansas and MSD. Which may well happen someday in the not-too-distant future. And if and when that day comes, my friends, you can darned well bet that James will lobby for Arkansas like it's Switzerland or Brussels or Milan or even all of them all wrapped up together or something. But until that day comes, NO. NO, WE ARE NOT BIDDING ON ARKANSAS.


The end. 

Comments

[Anne]

Ugh, just ugh.

[hannah]

This is a shitty situation, all around. But for what it's worth, Hot Springs is actually one of the best parts of Arkansas. Really good schools, including the statewide math/science magnet school that I graduated from. I lived there for two years and loved it.

Hot Springs might not be so bad in comparison to MSD...

[hannah]

And I'm fully cognizant that "best part of Arkansas" is like saying "the best side effects of chemotherapy." I grew up there, no need to explain it to me...

[Donna]

Well, if it helps: Arkansas does seem sort of foreign to me. Sending you love now and an email soon, lady.

[Nomads By Nature]

Well, Arkansas is exotic in its own way, but I will keep my fingers crossed for you that some spectacular last minute bidding locale out of the U.S. pops open and is handed to you with a pretty ribbon on it.

[John]

At least the air is clean.

[Sara Roy]

wow. DS wives are a special breed. Seriously. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope it gets better soon. Very. Very. Soon.

[Andrea]

I rarely comment, but I always read your blog. This post was just too funny not to comment on. While we aren't military I do have a air force friend who jokes we move more than they do.

I understand the Hot Springs conversation. I felt the same way when my husband said we were moving to Kentucky. Only we actually moved to Kentucky....

Here's hoping something comes through to put you out of misery soon!

[dangdang]

What a pisser.

Now would be a great time to lobby State and Congress for more overseas DS posts. They haven't added any in YEARS, which is why bidding is such an ordeal for DS families.