A Daring Adventure

Nope. Nada.

So, was this panel OUR panel? Did we get an onward assignment? Do we know where we are going? Did we get ANY sleep last night??





So there you have it.


The next panel is scheduled for April 26th, so we shall see what happens then. Yes, that's pretty much a month away. 


So, yeah... I'm not gonna lie to you. We're pretty bummed this morning. And that might be a leetle bit of an understatement...



 

But we'll be okay. We both firmly believe that God is in control, that what's meant to be is what will ultimately happen, and that we haven't been paneled yet because the right thing for us hasn't yet come along. Or something.


I'm sure it's going to take a couple of days, but we will soon look ourselves in the mirror and give ourselves a pep talk...





See you once the pep talk has kicked in. 


In the meantime, for those of you who celebrate, Happy Easter! And CONGRATULATIONS to all summer/NOW/winter bidders who got paneled this go 'round.  
 

T-Minus Something Like 17 Hours

Until we will either get an email with an onward assignment... or an email telling us all about how everyone else in the universe (other than us) got an onward assignment (and we didn't)... or both... or neither... or whatever. 


Neither James nor I will sleep tonight because how can we sleep while Important People are sitting in DC deciding THE VERY COURSE OF OUR LIVES?  Because that's what the time change between China and the U.S. does - it tells us we're supposed to be sleeping (because it's night time here) while the panel is meeting (during the daytime there), but what human being can do that?  


Needless to say, I'm jumpy and anxious and basically all





Except I know that the chances are very slim that this is actually our panel. Again, as I've said before, I have DS friends who were leftover summer bidders (like we are) who waited until MAY before they had their ownward assignments. MAY, PEOPLE, MAY. So James and I may well end up waiting that long or longer. At which point I might be sitting in a corner in a dark room, winding my hair around my fingers, sucking my thumb, quietly rocking back and forth and muttering to myself. Kid you not.


Because each and every time we bid, it feels like we're just doing this

Over and over and OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

So, anyway, will our valiant hero finally be victorious this time around? And will he (and his super bitchy wife) finally learn where they are headed next? 

Or will bidding continue for them the same way it's been going for the last eight months?

 
TUNE IN TOMORROW! 


Meanwhile, James and I are going to have some dinner and try not to obsess. We will NOT be eating:

Children steak. Because...NO.

 
The end. 

Oh, China. Don't Ever Stop Being So....So...YOU.

I love - LOVE - Chinglish.


Seriously.


I'm out shopping or I'm out doing whatever and I see things like

This was on the cover of a magazine. "Focus on the most beautiful career of human being." I have no idea what it is (an article? An advertisement?) or what it's trying to say to us readers. All I know is... I LOVE stuff like this! Oh, and this is my ugly thumb. My fingers look like sausages.

 
I love Chinglish because I love the English language and when I come across Chinglish it's incredibly amusing because it helps me understand just how badly I'm murdering their mother tongue when I try to speak to them in Chinese. 

A couple of weeks ago, James was in Shanghai for A Work Thing. It was the first time he has ever been to Shanghai and he found it fascinating. Evidently (I didn't get to go with him as my children and I ARE ALWAYS SICK) Shanghai is MUCH more western than Chengdu and even much different than Beijing. James really liked it. He took a couple pictures with the iTouch when he was there:

A street in a shopping district area in Shanghai. I have no idea where. I didn't get to go with him, WAH.

 
While he was in the Shanghai shopping district, he came across a tshirt for sale:

Yes, this is actually a tshirt for sale in Shanghai. No, James did NOT buy one.

In order to fully appreciate the bizarreness of this tshirt, you would have to be familiar with the former (now dead, but his pickled body is on display in Beijing!) Chinese leader Mao Tse-Tung (or Mao Zedong, depending upon how you feel like spelling it) who, depending upon whom you ask, is either the most awesomest Chinese leader ever in the history of China (who single-handedly brought China into the modern era)... or the most horrifying dictator China has ever had (who was responsible for the deaths of millions of his own citizens). 


So, you know. Tshirt = WOW. 


And that's all I'm gonna say about that.


                                                ~   ~   ~


What else?


Oh, yes. Have we discussed sex and relationships in China?


So you're out walking in any city in mainland China, and you will see no, and I do mean ZERO, PDA (public displays of affection). It is seldom that couples even hold hands while walking down the street. In contrast to the U.S., you will see no hugging, no kissing, NO NOTHING, here in China, and the only reason why you will know that physical relationships go on behind closed doors is because, um, well, there are still people in China.


That and the condoms for sale everywhere.


Yes, in DIRECT contrast to the U.S., there is NO PDA, but there are condoms for sale everywhere. (Whereas in the U.S., there is PDA everywhere and condoms are hidden away, barely to be seen.)


But here, there are condom machines (they are very discreet, but they are still condom machines) on the sidewalks. There are condoms for sale right next to the cash registers in the local convenience stores. There are even, and I am not making this up, huge displays of condoms for sale as you are standing in the checkout lines at the grocery stores.


You know, in the U.S., how, when you're about to hit the register at a grocery store, as you're standing there, waiting, you're standing amongst sugary treats and People magazines? Well, at my local grocery store here in Chengdu, instead of candy or magazines at the register, instead there's a huge display of condoms for sale.


And they're, you know, pretty obviously condoms.

You don't have to speak (or read) ANY Chinese in order to know that this is a box of screw thread... I mean condoms.

 

[My very proper, very ladylike mother has just disowned me for posting a picture of screw thread condoms on my blog. I hope my father is still speaking to me?]


But, really, it is so interesting to me how different things are here. Condoms for sale everywhere here but no one publicly holds hands or hugs or kisses.... but in the U.S. people are slobbering all over each other making out all over the place in public but condoms aren't really for sale anywhere at all (comparatively).  

                                                 ~   ~   ~


And finally, I give you this:



 

Yes, I know that you have NO IDEA what this is a picture of.


That is because you do no live in my home.


Nor do you live with my 19-year-old son, Matthew.


THAT, my friends, is a picture of a toaster.


A TOASTER THAT IS BUSY REHEATING LEFTOVER PIZZA.


Because, evidently, pizza reheated in the microwave is "gross and smooshy," whereas pizza warmed up in the toaster (!!!!!!!!) is vastly superior in both taste and texture.  


It has been determined (not by me, of course, but by my son) that the pizza must be inserted crust-first into the toaster for maximum reheating.  So what you are seeing in the picture is the toaster with the triangular pizza ends sticking out of the top.


AND THIS IS MY LIFE. 
 

 

T-Minus 5 Days (or Whatever)

...until Friday. 


And what, you may ask, does Friday signify? 


Well, let me tell you.


From what we have heard, Friday is the next panel.


At this point in time (from what we have heard), DS is now paneling current *WINTER* bidders in addition to (some of?) us leftover summer bidders from last year (like what James is). Because this is the tenth? eleventh? twelfth? thirteenth? (I've lost track) panel that James and I have been through since last August, when our bid list first came out.


And at this point, this year's WINTER bidders have not only gotten their bid lists, but have begun bidding and have even begun getting handshakes and being paneled. So, quite frankly, do James and I have much hope that this Friday will actually be our panel? During which we will get our new assignment? After all of this waiting?





(But it would be nice.)


I KNOW, I KNOW. If I were A Good State Department Wife, I would be all positive! and upbeat! and optimistic! and all:

Another panel! Another opportunity to find out where we're going! Oh, how exciting! We're so happy! And excited! Because this is SO FANTASTIC! I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But unless this is the first time you've ever read my blog (and if it is, um, welcome?), then you know that I'm about as far as it gets from being A Good State Department Wife, and so the next .gif is more like where we leftover-summer-bidders-from-last-year are emotionally as another panel date approaches (especially knowing that so much time has gone by that now WINTER bidders are being paneled!):
 

I call this: "Oh, Look. Another Panel." Except that we don't really drink. And also, I would like to point out that I am a girl. And that comparing James to Alec Baldwin seems heinous as James is actually, you know, a nice person and a good man. But you get the point.

 
So, you know. Friday. It's coming up. 


                                                    ~   ~   ~


What else is going on? 


Seeing as that we're only going to be in Chengdu through this summer (theoretically. Except for, we can't leave until they panel us, and they're never going to panel us, evidently, so MAYBE WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER), I'm finally beginning to figure out how to successfully live in this place. Because isn't that just how it is? The second you get acclimated to your post, it's time to leave? 


A couple of weeks ago I started to realize that I had finally hit my stride and was getting to the point where I could actually buy food for my family. Yes, people, it's taken me almost two years to feel like this. What can I say? I totally suck. That and none of the vegetables here actually cook like they're supposed to (so says me, from America), and none of the meats make any sense (again, so says me, an American), and I'm sorry but it's literally taken me THIS LONG to get some sort of system down for feeding my family. Again, I suck. 


But, really? When I'm at a grocery store and I finally know EXACTLY what food I'm buying and EXACTLY what I'm going to do with it when I get it home? 


I throw that package of whatever it is (don't ask me what it is - the writing is in Chinese) in my cart and I'm like DAMN STRAIGHT THIS IS GOING TO BE CHILI WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT. AND IT'S GOING TO TASTE LIKE AMERICAN CHILI, TOO!


And at that moment, standing there in that Chinese grocery store, surrounded by Chinese people trying desperately to peer into my shopping cart to see what the American is buying, deep down inside I'm seriously all TONIGHT THERE WILL BE CHILI, PEOPLE, BECAUSE:

Yes, I really CAN be this excited and this proud of myself just because I can FINALLY make a single American dish here in Chengdu, even though half of its ingredients have been shipped here courtesy of Amazon. DON'T JUDGE ME.

(And if learning how to make real, American chili while living in a foreign country isn't the pinnacle of expat acclimation, then please don't tell me what is, because reaching it is FAR beyond my grasp. Just leave me alone with my small win and let my family eat its chili in peace.)


 

My (Chinese) Life in Pictures

I am well aware that my blog, of late, has basically only been about the hideousness that is bidding and how sick my kids and I always are here in China. 


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.


So the other day when I was flipping through some pictures on my iTouch, I found some China-related photos that I have not yet put up on ye old bloggity-blog, and I thought it would be a good time to share!


~  ~  ~


I call these next pictures: "And This is the Sort of Thing That Makes Me Utterly Crazy." 


Let me explain.


Okay, so, we have Subway here in Chengdu. Subway, the American sandwich place. Where you go through the line and they build you a sandwich and you tell them what you want on it, etc. We Americans are probably all very familiar with Subway.


And the sandwich-builder behind the counter has many food choices for you to add to your sandwich, right? There are different cheeses and veggies and cold cuts of all kinds and flavors, etc.


And here in China, the Subway tries REALLY REALLY HARD to be what it's supposed to be. 


Only...

Only, know what that meat is in the middle? Of course you don't. Your brain can't process it. I'll tell you what it is... it's RAW BACON. As in bacon that is raw. I am not making this up. Would you like a raw bacon Subway sandwich? OF COURSE YOU WOULD.

Yes, you guys, I kid you not. Sitting alongside the cold cuts that actually deserve to be there (such as sliced ham and sliced turkey, etc.), is the RAW BACON. For your dining pleasure.


The first time I saw the raw bacon, I FREAKED THE HECK OUT. No joke. I did everything I could to use my 2/1+ (but still completely pathetic) Mandarin to try to explain that THIS. IS. BAD.  That you do not feed this to people on a sandwich. That you must cook it first.  


The Chinese sandwich-builder guys nodded and smiled and just kept on keeping on, not changing a thing.


Well, I was so horrified that there was a Subway here feeding people raw bacon on their sandwiches that I literally went to a local Mandarin teacher and explained the situation (she is Chinese but has spent a bit of time in America and so she understood what I meant and was also horrified at the raw bacon thing) and had her dictate to me EXACTLY what I should say in order to communicate the seriousness of the situation.


So I went back to Subway, armed with perfect verbiage. And I told the Subway sandwich-builder guys EXACTLY what the Chinese teacher had told me to say. I used EXACTLY her words. And they nodded and smiled and told me they understood... and then they changed nothing.


It's been months now. And that Subway keeps feeding people raw bacon sandwiches.


I am NOT making this up.


In fact, last week when I was there at Subway, I watched them build a sandwich for a young Chinese child - probably about 4th or 5th grade or so:

Yep, I watched the Subway sandwich people build this raw bacon and cheese sandwich for a Chinese child standing in front of me in line.

And I would end this story with something witty if I could just think of something witty to say about it. 


CHINA. Land of things happening that you would never see anywhere else. I hope. 


And for those of you living in Chengdu, if you would like to visit this Subway (I don't know if all the other Subways here in Chengdu do the raw bacon thing or not, but this one sure does) it's the Subway across from Treat on the bottom floor of the Raffles Mall. YUM.


~  ~  ~


[A quick note to all of my friends on Facebook - THANK YOU! I love you guys! I still cannot get on Facebook, but when you guys post something on my wall, Facebook emails it to me in an email and so I can see it that way and I am grateful, though I can't sign in and respond as I would like. Hugs to you all!! I will be back on Facebook (and Twitter!) someday!!]

Nope, This Wasn't Our Panel, Either

There was another panel today for summer bidders who are still left over from last year (which is what we are- we've been bidding since last August, and this is maybe the 10th/11th/something like that panel we've been through), and no... we didn't get anything today, either. 

This would be us right now. Except we don't really drink. And I'm a girl. And James doesn't wear wife beaters. And has more hair. And is cuter and younger. Etcetera.

But really - it's okay. Truly. We didn't really expect to get anything this panel, so we weren't surprised. And what's nice is that our #1 choice wasn't given away to someone else today - it's still there!! - so that's nice. Very nice.  We still have hope. And hope is always good to have. 


My even-keeled, awesome DS girlfriends (for basically no one in the FS can understand what it's like to bid DS except for other DS folks) do their best to try to comfort and encourage little raw-nerved, freak-out-cow me during this...this...extended time of uncertainty...

There, there. We've all been through this. It will all be okay in the end. You'll see!

I love ALL you ladies. For real. I couldn't do this crazy DS-lifestyle-thing without you. 


Because, wait - how long have James and I been bidding now? Let me think...




(KIDDING.)


(Sort of.)


So anyway, the next panel is scheduled for the end of March, and this is the first time (I think?) that I'm going to come out on my blog and say... that I am hoping that the next panel is our panel. In fact, PLEASE let the next panel be our panel. Please. The timing is right. We have a bid on a job that would fit us well, we've been patient, my insanely awesome husband is insanely awesome, and we are literally the last leftover summer bidders that I know of or that my friends know of. 


[Now, I know that there are many other leftover summer bidders out there, to be sure, but I don't personally know of any and neither do any of my girlfriends. The summer bidding pool of folks I know and that my girlfriends know has gone from very large at the beginning of the cycle to JUST US now. The very last other leftover summer bidders that I knew of (I don't personally know them, really, but I knew OF them through other friends) got paneled today, leaving just James and me in our very extended circle. That HAS to mean that the bidding field has narrowed. Right?  RIGHT?!?!]


Sure.

And the bidding journey continues...