A Daring Adventure

The Epic Tale of The YEAR of Bidding

As I said in my last blog post...

The YEAR of bidding is over for us.

We ultimately got Tokyo and are thrilled. And while the journey of what we went through this past year has a happy ending, I think the story is definitely worth telling. 


Bidding, for us, actually started more than a year ago. It started last August 1st, if I remember correctly, which is when the summer bid list first came out.


When the bid list came out, it was awfully pretty, but we knew that none of those overseas posts on that initial list were ever going to be ours. This is because James didn't have any bidding preference at all. He wasn't an AIP/PSP bidder, he wasn't a 5/8 bidder, and he was coming off of one overseas tour already. In DS Land, if you don't have preference bidding (as an AIP/PSP bidder or as a 5/8 bidder), you already most likely aren't going to get an overseas assignment. Let's just face reality. And once you toss in that you're ALREADY overseas, you're REALLY not going to get an overseas spot. 


James and I knew that we were in for the long haul, because we still were hoping against hope that we could pull off a second, or back-to-back, overseas tour after Chengdu (the impossible). We also knew that, together with James not having any bidding preference, we were also in trouble because James' dates didn't match with almost anything ever offered on the bid list. You see, there was almost never anything on the bid list that matched James' dates for departure from Chengdu (around September). The dates for everything on the bid list always seemed to be either for the beginning of summer (June/July), or WAY out toward the end of the year, like November or December, or even that next January or February. Nothing matched in the September/October time period. Not even close. Which didn't help.


So, yeah. Between us trying to stay overseas after Chengdu, and James not having any bidding preference, and none of the spots on the bid list matching our dates, and us already being overseas, and our only being able to bid on places with high schools, and more than half of the jobs gone because James couldn't bid on the kind of position he had just done in Chengdu, we knew it was going to be nearly impossible to get anything. But James still had to bid and lobby, and so he did. Every two to three weeks James had to redo his entire bid list as things were given to other people at the panels, and then had to re-bid and re-lobby. Over and over and over again. Every two to three weeks. 


Things went on like this from last August (2012) until this February (2013) or so. With James bidding and lobbying and then re-bidding and re-lobbying, over and over again, every two to three weeks. Seven months of it.


And during those seven or so months, the overseas jobs all went to AIP/PSP bidders and 5/8ths bidders, which was totally fine because I truly believe that those folks deserve the preference they get. No doubt about it. But as those people were given the preference they deserve (and there were a LOT of them!), the bid list dwindled and dwindled and dwindled, and the remaining things on the list were even further away from our dates of departure from Chengdu. Sure, there were still a few overseas things here and there on the list, but none of them even remotely matched with our dates. The whole thing was just a total mess.


So we started thinking hard about what the future most likely held for us, which was a domestic position. Also most likely - a domestic position in Washington DC.


It was at this time that I started dusting off my own ambitions. Because, I reasoned, if we were most likely going to be given a DC assignment (let's face reality), then I could go back to school! REAL school, not just school over the internet, for things that I found really exciting and that could maybe one day employ me and pay me money and give me something to do with my days since I suck (SUCK SUCK SUCK) at the whole EFM thing. SUCK, SUCK, SUCK, SUCK, SUCK.


So in January/February I started the very long process of applying to the program at Georgetown that I was ultimately admitted to. At the time of application, it was literally something I never dreamed I would ever be given. You see, I am old and there are about a zillion people out there who are more intelligent than I am, and so applying to this program at Georgetown was basically like my buying a lottery ticket - fun to dream about but something I was certain I wouldn't end up getting. 


Meanwhile, James was still tenaciously bidding on (and lobbying for!) only overseas jobs, since there were still a few here and there scattered about on the bid list. This was in February and then went into March or so.


I still remember the very last overseas job on the bid list that early spring - Dar es Salaam. It was March (I think? or April?) and Dar es Salaam was The. Very. Last. Overseas. Job. Kid you not. It was like the last helicopter out of Saigon for those of us who wanted an overseas assignment, and it was bid on accordingly. I think Dar es Salaam ended up with something like 28 bids on it AT GRADE before it was paneled...to someone other than James, of course, since you already know how this story ends.


The funny thing was that right about when we didn't get Dar - or any overseas assignment, for that matter - and it was obvious that we were going to end up going domestic (most likely to DC), that out of nowhere Georgetown emailed me and told me that I had been admitted. I literally started sobbing hysterically at 6:30am China time when I read the email, waking James from a sound sleep, and it was minutes until I could calm myself down enough to tell him why I was sobbing. The fact that someone somewhere thought that I had potential (and Georgetown, to boot!) after the years that I had spent begging State to notice that I was even alive was so emotionally overwhelming for me that I will never forget the feeling. 


So.


The fact that all of the overseas assignments were then gone off the bidlist, coupled with my acceptance email to Georgetown, cinched the deal in our minds, and James went off to work that morning ready to bid voraciously for DC jobs and DC jobs only.


It was initially suggested to James (not by me, just thought I would note that) that he bid for

Tigerville.

 
Um, NO.

This is pretty much the best James could do were he to try his hand at being a Tiger. Just saying.

 
So James perused the bid list and settled on what we will now lovingly refer to as DCJob#1, and then he bid for it and lobbied for it, sending emails out about it hither and yon.


DCJob#1's folks seemed thrilled and wanted him, and James was thrilled to be wanted, and literally within, like, a day or two the deal was (informally) done and James was (informally) headed to DCJob#1. This is when I wrote this blog post, which is actually painful for me to go back and read. At that point, our path seemed so clear: I was going to Georgetown, James (informally) had a job in DC - I had even chosen a rental house in the Northern VA area and was busily working with a realtor to get the thing rented so we could be done with bidding and start getting everything in order to move our whole family to the DC area. 


But since you already know how this story ends, you also already know that DCJob#1 didn't end up happening. I won't burden you with why or how DCJob#1 didn't happen (because it isn't important), except to say that it had nothing at all to do with James or anything about James or connected with James or concerning James. Totally independent of James-related issues, about six (or more?) weeks after it seemed like it was going to happen, DCJob#1 didn't.


I stopped the process of renting the house.


James went back to the bid list. Again he chose another job, which we shall lovingly call DCJob#2, and he bid on it and lobbied for it. Hard.


DCJob#2 decided to interview James over the phone. And during the interview, DCJob#2 asked James a question that, to this day, super duper ticks me off. It asked James to explain What was wrong with him that he didn't have an onward assignment yet.


Never mind that at that point James was still one of 130+ leftover summer bidders of his bidding class who were in the exact same position as he was and still didn't have onward assignments. James did what I thought was a great job of answering the question (This has been a very difficult bidding season / There are still more than 130+ summer bidders still who have yet to receive onward assignments / I spent seven or so months rolling the dice and trying to stay overseas, but wasn't successful / I had a DC assignment that I thought was going to happen, so for the last two months I haven't been actively re-bidding, but then it fell through), but I WAS MAD. SO MAD. I think this was probably the lowest of the low points for us that whole year of bidding - James literally having to explain over the phone during an interview WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE AN ONWARD ASSIGNMENT YET.  


As you already know, DCJob#2 didn't happen. And in retrospect, of course I'm glad we have Tokyo instead. But anyway...


So James went back to the bid list, picked out DCJob#3, and started lobbying for it. 


It was at this time that something strange occurred. Something we've never seen or heard of before. I can't imagine it happens very often (ever? Other than just this once?) in DS, but a large tranche of brand-new overseas positions was created, and it flowed out onto the NOW bid list (the summer bid list had long ago disappeared) like a tidal wave. Some of the places were absolutely fantastic. (Like, you know, TOKYO.) Plus...the AIP bidders had long been given assignments (so we were no longer competing with them), there were still some 5/8 bidders but not enough to claim ALL of the new overseas positions that had been created and released (we hoped), the new overseas assignments all fit James' dates perfectly - we felt like James might actually have a shot at something. But, of course, we couldn't be sure.


And also - what about Georgetown? I had already enrolled, chosen my fall class schedule - done everything but moved to DC. 


We spent about a week talking, crying, agonizing. If James stopped going after DC jobs, it could well mean he would be bidding for MONTHS longer (and he did). It could well mean that he STILL wouldn't get an overseas job (thank God he actually did end up getting one, but I'm just saying). It was a huge risk for James to change course away from trying for DC jobs and try again (and again and again) for overseas jobs, especially with a wife who had already committed to Georgetown for the fall semester and a son needing to start 9th grade somewhere. But that's what he did. And it paid off. After another few more months of bidding, he got Tokyo. And we are so grateful.

But the aftermath is still messy, with James and Matthew still in Chengdu with no idea when they will be able to leave, and with Zachary and me in the States, moving on without them, both of us starting school soon, not knowing what the plans will be. We actually even had to pay $4,000 of our own money to buy us our own two tickets out of Chengdu, since State refused over and over to pay for us to leave. Maybe the money we paid for the tickets will be reimbursed someday, and maybe it won't. I'm still upset that State literally said it wouldn't pay for our tickets out of Chengdu because Zachary's and my reasons for leaving before James "weren't good enough." That's a direct quote out of the email denying us any way for State to pay for our tickets (and no, we were also denied the ability to sign a repayment agreement for the tickets). Glorious. 


What a long, painful journey it has been, this last YEAR of bidding. And of course, we're not done with everything yet. I will head to Georgetown and attend the fall semester and then our family will go from there. Maybe that one semester will show me that I was meant to only be a stay-at-home wife and that I ought to take up cross stitching or quilting or something and shut up about wanting to be someone. And maybe that semester will show me that I LOVE studying and learning, and I will bounce back and forth to Georgetown while still trying to be a wife and mom.


Anyway.


The bid list just opened a couple of weeks ago for this year's summer bidders. I wish for them a journey that is smoother and shorter than ours was. I will say this: James' CDO was literally the most amazing person EVER. They should build a shrine for James' amazing CDO and have them teach "How to be a Kickass Awesome CDO" classes at FSI or something. Kid you not. They are Just. That. Awesome. As I've said before. And now, months later, I mean it even more. James' CDO's awesomeness only got more awesome with time. Talk about a kind, supportive, empathetic, responsive, personable CDO. If I could send them a platter of brownies or something without looking like a psycho crazy stalker I would. (I will refrain.) We just really hit the CDO jackpot this time around.


That and James also has an amazing Assignments Officer who goes above and beyond to do everything that can be done (and more!) to help us in our crazy situation. So yes, absolutely, ours has a happy ending, and absolutely Tokyo is better than anything we could have ever dreamed or hoped for. And now you know how we got it.


The end.

In Which James ACTUALLY GETS an Onward Assignment!!! (And Other Stuff.)

After a year (A. YEAR.) of bidding, I am thrilled to announce that my husband has been officially HR paneled for the onward assignment we will be heading to after we leave Chengdu, China!!

 

TOKYO, JAPAN!!!!!!!

 

If you're DS, you will immediately recognize how CRAZY OFF THE CHARTS **YOU-HAVE-GOT-TO-BE-KIDDING-ME-INSANE** it is that we just got Tokyo as our ownard assignment. I mean, we're already overseas! So this gives us two back to back overseas tours! Without having gone to AIP! And without even doing a DC tour! (And with his wife getting her blog shut down over and over again!!) Because, thus far, James' career path has been: BSAC, Houston Field Office (1 year), Mandarin language training at FSI (1 year), Chengdu, China (2 years) and then a second overseas tour right after that.

This literally never ever happens, you guys. Ever. And Tokyo?? It's such an amazing assignment it's, like, even better than what DS AIP folks get coming out of AIP.

 

It is. Kid you not.

 

We actually were initially given the handshake for Tokyo almost two weeks ago. And James and I both decided that it was, like the .gif above says, just like a dream.

When James told me over the phone that he had just gotten a handshake to Tokyo? I literally started screaming. And I'm not a screamer, you guys.

We literally couldn't believe that it could possibly be real. Tokyo?  TOKYO??? Like I said, AIP bidders with blackmail materials on high up folks who are also willing to sell their own body parts (and children) don't even get Tokyo. Even after the handshake, James kept waiting to get an email saying that the whole Tokyo thing was a mistake and that he'd actually been assigned to clean toilets at FLETC with his own toothbrush. We weren't going to tell anyone about Tokyo until he was HR paneled and officially given his TMOne for Tokyo. Until it was in writing. Signed, sealed, delivered. Only then, we said, would we tell people.


James was HR paneled today. So now it's official. 

James FINALLY has an onward assignment!! And what an onward assignment it is...

I can FINALLY tell the whole entire year-long-bidding crazy story. But not today. Today is actually for the bottom line information. Sort of like I'm letting you read the very last page of the book before I start telling you the story. Today is for saying the big stuff, like: we got Tokyo.


There is other big news to share. Such as: I'm not going. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll go to Tokyo sometime, but I will not be going with James and the boys when they initially travel to Tokyo at the start of James' assignment. 


I will be going SMA (apart from my family) and staying in the Washington DC area while attending Georgetown University. You see, Georgetown admitted me to a highly selective and very prestigious math/science/health sciences program (a kind of program where only twenty people total are admitted), and I will be starting in the fall. I just can't pass this opportunity up. I have actually known about this since last April, but chose not to blog about it for many reasons (will say more later). I did try foreshadowing, though, which is why I've blogged here and there about Calculus and how badly I suck at being an EFM. Just so people wouldn't be TOO terribly shocked when the whole Georgetown thing went down. 


The last news item I have right now is that I have already left Chengdu and am already in the United States. Actually, my younger son, Zachary, is with me, also. I had to leave Chengdu earlier than James and Matthew in order to get things ready for me to go to Georgetown, and also so that we could cope with whatever came our way. James hadn't been paneled yet when I left and we knew that anything could happen.


I will explain everything - the bidding saga, the Georgetown saga, etc. - in the next blog post. But for now?

We got TOKYO!!! And we got GEORGETOWN!!!!

 

It is Finished.

(No, NOT bidding.)


(It feels like bidding will NEVER be finished.)


(It feels like bidding will be with me until the end of time.)


(Death. Taxes.  AND BIDDING.)


Anyway, what is actually finished is Calculus. My summer Calculus class (that I ended up in because the morning my spring semester was over, I had an anxiety attack because I knew I would then have nothing to do, and so I immediately enrolled in a summer Calculus class and tortured my new professor until he opened the online classes up early for me.)


This is because, and I've said it before but I'll say it again, I SUCK - royally, epically SUCK SUCK SUCK *SUCK* - at being an EFM and having nothing to do. That building? Over there? That my husband (and now my older son) call home all day long (and longer)? That building they belong in? That they do important things in? That they have friends in and special clearances and badges for? That their contributions are valued in?


That's THEIR building. Not mine. That's truly how I feel. And I have nowhere to... be. Nothing to... do. Unless I'm busy taking a class online. And then the world fades away and my brain is engaged and the time passes happily. 


So, yeah. classes. Those things that keeps me sane.


I didn't finish the whole Calc class in a month like I had originally hoped to do, but that's because I've been sick as a dog multiple times during Calc (literally I have been super sick with three different colds/flus these last four to five weeks, such that out of these last five weeks I've been sick three to four of them) - and then we've also had bidding drama all over the place (just wait, you guys. Just WAIT until I can tell you the story), so I am cutting myself slack for going past my original four-week plan. I finished with a 100 average in the class, anyway, so that has to count for something. Plus, Calculus was an absolute BLAST and ever so much better than PreCalc, which was replete with boring formulae. No formulas in Calculus!!! Gotta love it.**


Anyway,

Good question. I finished my final exam at 11:45 am, made lunch for my family at noon, and now, two hours later, I am literally fighting back PANIC because I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO.

I know that if I were a normal person, or a normal student, I would be all

Except I'm not. I'm freaking out.

Meanwhile, Chengdu has been having the worst, thickest pollution weather on the face of the earth these last couple of weeks since school let out. Truly, abysmally bad. Atrociously, heinously bad. So bad that I want to collectively yell at everyone who isn't in Chengdu (or China?) right now:

Truly, y'all - I'm not making this up. It's been seriously awful, thick pollution combined with rain, which means that it looks like it is RAINING MUD. I'm sitting in my bedroom this very second watching little streaks of MUD dripping down my window pane. Is this mud- from the sky? Is this water from the sky combined with what was already on my windows? WHO KNOWS.

Oh, wait - I'm forgetting to put on my "happy FS hat" and be more optimistic-like. I hate it when I do that. 


I'll try to inwardly adjust my attitude ... hold on just a sec...


Here - is this better?

There. I'll try to behave myself.

Anyway.


So the bottom line is that I need something to do. Mercifully, or maybe NOT mercifully, I know that I need to take a good look at my consumables - what's left over, what we may use before we leave, what will never get used, what I was an idiot to bring in the first place - and get all the Epic Consumables Fail written down in one place so I never do such a bad job at consumables ever again. 


Because someday we may move somewhere again that gives us a consumables shipment. And Lord have mercy, you guys, ain't NO WAY I could EVER screw it up again as badly as I did this time! I mean, of course, I know I'll screw it up somehow, but please PLEASE let me never screw it up as badly as I did this time.


Maybe that will be my next blog post.


"Consumables Epic Fail: My Enormous Mistakes on Parade for the World to See."


I know it will help me. Maybe it will help someone else in the process. Who knows?


____________________
 
** [If you, Dear Readers, are currently taking PreCalculus - or if your offspring are currently taking PreCalculus - and if you/they are sick to death and weighed down by all of the zillions of mind-numbing formulas, please let me just say that Calculus was, at least for both me and my older son, about ten bazillion times better than PreCalc. I mean, I got an A in PreCalc, and it was interesting and stuff, but Calculus was, like, way WAY better. WAY WAY WAY.].

This -n- That

Well, first things first: No, we didn't get paneled to an onward assignment at the last panel. Trust me, if we had I would have come on and said something. I would have trumpeted it to the skies. 


So, yeah - we're still bidding. The next panel is July 12th. We shall see.


There's not much to say past that. Probably because at this point, now that we've been bidding for almost eleven months, James and I are basically



 

What else?


Our email is partially broken. And by "partially broken," I mean that James and I can GET email, but cannot SEND email. It's whacked. But, you know - we're in China, so you never know with tech stuff. It goes all screwy all the time.


In order to send email, James or I have to drag our iPads to a certain small corner of our apartment and hope that we can steal our neighbor's wifi because for WHATEVER REASON our email will send on our neighbor's wifi but not on ours.


But, you see, our neighbor's wifi is often down (again - this is China), and so pretty much since I'm also sick for the third time this month and in bed whining, I don't have the strength to haul my friggin iPad across the apartment and huddle in a corner hoping that my neighbor's wifi will let me send an email.


So pretty much I'm not emailing anyone. Sorry! I will email again sometime soon, I promise, when the Chinese Tech Powers That Be allow me to or I feel well enough to steal my neighbor's wifi. Thank you for thinking of me.  


What else?


School ended here a couple of weeks ago, which sent my younger son (Zachary) into a world of hell. You see, he LOVES school because he's all social and loves seeing his friends, and let me just tell you that almost all of his friends are Oil Kids or Computer Kids or Car Kids which means that they were all on planes bound for somewhere far away from here literally the day school got out. Because non-State folks can come and go at will with their travel allowances, you see, and don't have to ask a bureaucracy in order to spend their travel allotments.


So, yeah - the younger one is lonely and bored and hating life here at post with nothing to do now that school is out. And, to make matters worse, some of our best friends at post (and our ONLY friends at post with sons my Zachary's age) departed post for good yesterday (bound for a new assignment), which was just too horrible for words. We've known these people for the last three years (we knew them during Chinese language training at FSI and then the whole time we were here) and then, one day, they're just GONE. 

Our friends. ARE GONE. Woe is us.

Meanwhile, my older son (Matthew) is now in full possession of a high school diploma and is starting a summer job at the Consulate tomorrow morning. Which is a good thing. His "clearance" - which is so basic that it pretty much consists of someone checking to make sure that he's not listed on America's Most Wanted - took longer than it should have (the cobbler's family goes barefoot) or he would have started working earlier than this. But beggars can't be choosers, I suppose.


And speaking of beggars, it's odd. I mean, I am his mother and so I am THRILLED that he gets this wonderful opportunity to have a summer job at the Consulate. THRILLED.  What mother wouldn't be? I am thrilled that State has a summer work program for high school/college kids of employees and I am grateful that Matthew has this opportunity.  Of course I am, DUH.


But when he and I were at the Consulate the other day turning in paperwork for his position, I couldn't help feeling like the whole situation is just... odd. How desperately did I want a job there? And how impossible was it for me to get one?  But even with my bachelor's degree in Poly Sci and with my 2/1+ in Mandarin Chinese (higher than is needed for Consular officers) and my ConGen and everything, I couldn't get a job at the Consulate to save my life. But my son, who only has a high school diploma, gets a job for the summer easy schmeezy with no questions asked, no application process, nada. Again, it's wonderful that my son gets to work - I'm extremely grateful - and if I'd had a choice I totally would have asked that he have a job instead of me and not the other way around (big time) - but still. The EFM job mess is indeed a mess, and I can't help but think that if State put its mind to it, it could make things better in that area for "trailing spouses." 


Anyway, what else?

 

Last night there was a Consulate party/function, and while I couldn't go (see: I'm sick, above. For the third time this month. But I did send cupcakes), James and Zachary went. And when Zachary came home he proudly told me all about how James mega won a trivia contest at the party. Evidently the trivia contest covered 80's music, and James knows 80's music better than anyone I've ever met, and so evidently James mopped the place up with those trivia questions, or at least he did according to proud Zachary.


James even came home with an award.

Don't challenge my man at the firing range. Or at a trivia contest covering 80's music. Unless you WANNA LOSE.

 

Again with This

Prepare to be SHOCKED.


Ready for a stunning revelation?


James didn't get paneled for an onward assignment at today's DS panel.

You have to pick yourself up off the floor now, right?  


(/sarcasm)

Yeah, so, anyway - still no onward assignment for us. And it's true - we had been told that we weren't going to be paneled today. But, but... but I guess that didn't stop the faint glimmer of hope in my heart that I had that things might have worked out for us by now.


Thirty-three OTHER people of James' grade were paneled today - I would imagine that most of them were current winter bidders - but nothing for us leftover summer bidders from last year who are still sitting around with NADA. 

UGH.

 

So, yeah.


Here's to June the 7th!! Which is the next panel date. Which will hopefully be OUR panel date (although- how many times have I written that now on my blog? A thousand?).  

Let's hope June the 7th doesn't ALSO end up being all

 

"Oh, did you want this?"

Because that would suck.


OR NOT, as the case may be.  

 

Taking the Good with the Bad

Well, so.


James had a very informative (and also long) conversation with his CDO last night. So, you know, I figured I would update y'all on the whole bidding thing.


THE GOOD NEWS:  It looks as though James might be penciled in for a certain onward assignment.


THE BAD NEWS: He sure isn't getting paneled for it (or anything else, for that matter) on the next panel date (May 17th).


(At this point, cue me being all:)

Except for - I'm a girl.

 
EVEN BETTER: He *might* get paneled the panel after that. Which is June 7th. If, of course, everything that needs to happen actually ends up happening the way it needs to happen so that it can all actually happen. And stuff. 


THE AWESOMEST NEWS EVER:  This means that JAMES AND I WIN the "Longest Bidders Ever That I Personally Know Award."  Of all of my DS girlfriends, the longest anyone has gone without an onward assignment has been from bidding as a summer bidder starting in one calendar year and not getting paneled until May of the the next calendar year (nine months of pure bidding joy). But now that we know that we started bidding last August (2012) and won't even be paneled this month - in May (the nine month mark) - we now have won the Longest Bidders (that I personally know) Contest. 


WOW!  Lucky us!  And James and I usually never ever win contests! 

 

Except when they aren't.

So.


In all fairness, and I am trying to be as fair about the situation as possible, James has a WONDERFUL CDO who is very kind and helpful. It also sounds like the assignment to where James will more than likely be headed is a good place, morale-wise. So that's nice. We need some good morale all up in here, y'all. 


On the other hand, not being paneled means no orders. No orders means no travel dates. No travel dates means, well, NO TRAVEL. And let's not forget that we have an upcoming 9th grader in the fall. Who needs to, like, get out of Chengdu and get to where his school is. And stuff.


I'll be able to tell the whole story when James gets paneled. Which will hopefully, HOPEFULLY, *HOPEFULLY* be in June (OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE).  

PLEEEEEEEEEASE? James and I are asking so very nicely!

In the meantime, I will leave you with a link to a hilariously funny thing that Matthew, my 19-year-old son, found on the interwebz. It has to do with how different men and women are. Holy cow, I laughed SO HARD at that!


Laughing is good.


As for me, I have finished two of my final exams for two of the three classes I have been taking this spring semester, and have the other final exam tomorrow morning. And then I will be done for the semester.  Which COMPLETELY freaks me out.  No, I'm dead serious.


Taking classes is the only thing that keeps me sane, you guys, seeing as there's nothing else for me to do. I am so, and I do mean SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad at the whole EFM thing. I don't do outings or lunches or shopping or manicures or pedicures or whatever other things we unemployed EFMs (which is statistically, what, 70+% of EFMs worldwide? If not more? And now there are going to be even less EFM jobs available worldwide because of the budget crunch?) are supposed to do to pass the time at post. I don't hang out and gossip, I don't have young children that need to do playdates - I just truly suck at the whole EFM thing. Which means that school has been my lifeline to sanity because it has kept my brain engaged and given me a daily hope for a future that includes my being useful. And having school end for the semester - and not being able to register for a summer class because I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE I WILL BE OR WHAT I WILL BE DOING THIS SUMMER is just... killing me. 

 

If I knew that I would be here in Chengdu through my hometown institution's entire summer semester, I would JUMP on taking another class. But this flux is keeping me from doing anything, which is just... hard. SO HARD. 

Nope. No Onward Assignment. But, Really - it's Okay

Yes, everyone - you're going to be shocked to hear this. Although there was another panel yesterday...

James didn't get an onward assignment. Again.

But, actually? It's okay.

It's okay because things are starting to fall into place for our family. Things are starting to make sense. Things are starting to come together. There's beginning to be a big picture. That we can see. And discuss. And make long term plans for.


I'll be able to share a lot more a bit later, hopefully, when plans have been made and paths are on course. 


It's funny. For the last nine months (and yes, we have been bidding now for NINE. MONTHS. As in, if I had gotten pregnant when we got our bid list I'd be ready to have the baby now) this whole bidding thing has totally been

THE NEVERENDING STORY

But the next panel is May the 17th and I'm optimistic that not only will James hopefully get an assignment that day, but that it will make total and complete sense for our family. Our WHOLE family. Including, you know, me.


And then I'll be able to tell the story. And it's a fun one, y'all. 


In the meantime, I have two weeks of classes left in this semester. I haven't really talked about what I'm taking, but it's, um, not exactly an easy load. And my cumulative finals are coming up and I'm sorta in the weeds studying for them.

Have I mentioned that I'm pretty much a Type A Nutjob and that any grade less than a 100 is like an "F" to me? Yeah. Good times. I'm a lot of fun to be around right now.

It's a busy time. 


Guess if I stress myself out too much while studying and end up with a headache, I can always go grab my trusty

Flot water bag. Everyone should have his or her own flot water bag. And also, don't get all over me for posting Chinglish pictures. I wholeheartedly admit that my Chinese would produce much more hilarious results if I had to use characters to properly label a "hot water bag" in Mandarin!

Anyway!


May the 17th, I have high hopes for you. DON'T DISAPPOINT ME.  

Nope. Nada.

So, was this panel OUR panel? Did we get an onward assignment? Do we know where we are going? Did we get ANY sleep last night??





So there you have it.


The next panel is scheduled for April 26th, so we shall see what happens then. Yes, that's pretty much a month away. 


So, yeah... I'm not gonna lie to you. We're pretty bummed this morning. And that might be a leetle bit of an understatement...



 

But we'll be okay. We both firmly believe that God is in control, that what's meant to be is what will ultimately happen, and that we haven't been paneled yet because the right thing for us hasn't yet come along. Or something.


I'm sure it's going to take a couple of days, but we will soon look ourselves in the mirror and give ourselves a pep talk...





See you once the pep talk has kicked in. 


In the meantime, for those of you who celebrate, Happy Easter! And CONGRATULATIONS to all summer/NOW/winter bidders who got paneled this go 'round.  
 

T-Minus Something Like 17 Hours

Until we will either get an email with an onward assignment... or an email telling us all about how everyone else in the universe (other than us) got an onward assignment (and we didn't)... or both... or neither... or whatever. 


Neither James nor I will sleep tonight because how can we sleep while Important People are sitting in DC deciding THE VERY COURSE OF OUR LIVES?  Because that's what the time change between China and the U.S. does - it tells us we're supposed to be sleeping (because it's night time here) while the panel is meeting (during the daytime there), but what human being can do that?  


Needless to say, I'm jumpy and anxious and basically all





Except I know that the chances are very slim that this is actually our panel. Again, as I've said before, I have DS friends who were leftover summer bidders (like we are) who waited until MAY before they had their ownward assignments. MAY, PEOPLE, MAY. So James and I may well end up waiting that long or longer. At which point I might be sitting in a corner in a dark room, winding my hair around my fingers, sucking my thumb, quietly rocking back and forth and muttering to myself. Kid you not.


Because each and every time we bid, it feels like we're just doing this

Over and over and OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

So, anyway, will our valiant hero finally be victorious this time around? And will he (and his super bitchy wife) finally learn where they are headed next? 

Or will bidding continue for them the same way it's been going for the last eight months?

 
TUNE IN TOMORROW! 


Meanwhile, James and I are going to have some dinner and try not to obsess. We will NOT be eating:

Children steak. Because...NO.

 
The end. 

T-Minus 5 Days (or Whatever)

...until Friday. 


And what, you may ask, does Friday signify? 


Well, let me tell you.


From what we have heard, Friday is the next panel.


At this point in time (from what we have heard), DS is now paneling current *WINTER* bidders in addition to (some of?) us leftover summer bidders from last year (like what James is). Because this is the tenth? eleventh? twelfth? thirteenth? (I've lost track) panel that James and I have been through since last August, when our bid list first came out.


And at this point, this year's WINTER bidders have not only gotten their bid lists, but have begun bidding and have even begun getting handshakes and being paneled. So, quite frankly, do James and I have much hope that this Friday will actually be our panel? During which we will get our new assignment? After all of this waiting?





(But it would be nice.)


I KNOW, I KNOW. If I were A Good State Department Wife, I would be all positive! and upbeat! and optimistic! and all:

Another panel! Another opportunity to find out where we're going! Oh, how exciting! We're so happy! And excited! Because this is SO FANTASTIC! I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But unless this is the first time you've ever read my blog (and if it is, um, welcome?), then you know that I'm about as far as it gets from being A Good State Department Wife, and so the next .gif is more like where we leftover-summer-bidders-from-last-year are emotionally as another panel date approaches (especially knowing that so much time has gone by that now WINTER bidders are being paneled!):
 

I call this: "Oh, Look. Another Panel." Except that we don't really drink. And also, I would like to point out that I am a girl. And that comparing James to Alec Baldwin seems heinous as James is actually, you know, a nice person and a good man. But you get the point.

 
So, you know. Friday. It's coming up. 


                                                    ~   ~   ~


What else is going on? 


Seeing as that we're only going to be in Chengdu through this summer (theoretically. Except for, we can't leave until they panel us, and they're never going to panel us, evidently, so MAYBE WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER), I'm finally beginning to figure out how to successfully live in this place. Because isn't that just how it is? The second you get acclimated to your post, it's time to leave? 


A couple of weeks ago I started to realize that I had finally hit my stride and was getting to the point where I could actually buy food for my family. Yes, people, it's taken me almost two years to feel like this. What can I say? I totally suck. That and none of the vegetables here actually cook like they're supposed to (so says me, from America), and none of the meats make any sense (again, so says me, an American), and I'm sorry but it's literally taken me THIS LONG to get some sort of system down for feeding my family. Again, I suck. 


But, really? When I'm at a grocery store and I finally know EXACTLY what food I'm buying and EXACTLY what I'm going to do with it when I get it home? 


I throw that package of whatever it is (don't ask me what it is - the writing is in Chinese) in my cart and I'm like DAMN STRAIGHT THIS IS GOING TO BE CHILI WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT. AND IT'S GOING TO TASTE LIKE AMERICAN CHILI, TOO!


And at that moment, standing there in that Chinese grocery store, surrounded by Chinese people trying desperately to peer into my shopping cart to see what the American is buying, deep down inside I'm seriously all TONIGHT THERE WILL BE CHILI, PEOPLE, BECAUSE:

Yes, I really CAN be this excited and this proud of myself just because I can FINALLY make a single American dish here in Chengdu, even though half of its ingredients have been shipped here courtesy of Amazon. DON'T JUDGE ME.

(And if learning how to make real, American chili while living in a foreign country isn't the pinnacle of expat acclimation, then please don't tell me what is, because reaching it is FAR beyond my grasp. Just leave me alone with my small win and let my family eat its chili in peace.)