A Daring Adventure

I Could Be Google! (And Other Disturbing Ideas)

 

My blog has really nifty analytics.


And I wholeheartedly admit- one of my favorite things to do is scroll through the recent Google/Ask.com/Whatever search terms that have brought people to my blog's door.  I know, I know.  I'm weird. 


And, sometimes, when I scroll through the recent Google (or whatever) search terms that bring people to my blog, I realize that I could often do an even BETTER job than Google! 

For behold- I will give you a list.  An honest-to-goodness list of search terms that have brought people to my blog recently.  You just tell me if you think I don't do a better job than Google:


                                                      ~   ~   ~



"Find Nairobi Sugar Mama"


DUDE.  That one is EASY!   Here she is (Lees on the Go)!  Well, and pretty soon you can even hit up my dear friend Tulip Girl, because Nairobi soon will have TWO Sugar Mamas. 


I'm not quite sure why someone in Norway is looking for Nairobi Sugar Mamas... but I'm sure you have your reasons.  Just please don't tell me what they are.




"Oakwood Chengdu"


Oh dear GOD.  Are you trying to give me some sort of stroke??!?  Is there SERIOUSLY an Oakwood in Chengdu!?!?  WILL I HAVE TO STAY IN IT!?!?!


Whoever you are, you hate me.  WHY do you hate me?  Why??  WHY???




"Mandarin Self Deprecation"


Um, yes.  Right here.  I pretty much have this one in the bag.  And I'm sure it will only get worse as I start language training at FSI in November.  Speaking of...




"FSI Chinese Progress"


My husband is doing really, really well, of course, since he's brilliant.  However, last night he told me that's he's officially changing his Native American name (listen up, Donna!) from "Fits Crap in Minivan" (story here).... to:

"Looks Like Hell." 


This is because his classmates are noticing the toll it takes on a married man with two older, homeschooled children (and a frighteningly needy wife... Honestly, why did he marry that unhelpful hag?), and they are constantly saying to him, "Dude, you look like hell."  So this is his new Native American name, poor guy.  


As for me and my future FSI progres, I'm sure it will be abysmal...but at least I'm going to try!  Stay tuned...

"State Department Blog Roundup"

Oooh, this one is my spech-ee-alll-ee-tay! 


Let's see... yesterday Lydia at the blog Here, There & Everywhere did the RoundUp (thank you, Lydia!), since it's put out on Fridays!   If you want to host, let me know!  And we're ALWAYS looking for audience/State blogger participation!

"Can I Take My Family on an Unaccompanied Tour"


Um, probably not.  I mean, maybe your spouse/EFM can go, if they can get a job at that future post (see:  Nick & Liz Go Global), and sometimes maybe other grown (adult) dependants can go, if they also get a job at your future post, but mostly:  NO.




"Ladies in Need of Daring Adventures"


Sounds like a great Facebook group!  Or maybe a great book title?  However, all the ladies I know are right smack dab in the middle of their own daring adventures!  For further info, check my sidebars...




"Asian Daring Outfit Public"

Stay tuned.  In about a year or so, when I'm wheels-down in China, I bet I'll have plenty of these sorts of pictures for you!

 

"Bujumbura Pregnant FS Blog"

 

The blogger formerly known as the Bujumbura Pregnant FS Blog (Where in the World Am I?) can currenty be called the New Mother Leaving Soon for India Blog.  Stop by her blog and wish her luck!

"Picture of Eagle Scout"

On my sidebars, left, toward the top. 




"Diplomatic Security Service Register"


Making it through the hiring process sucks.  Been there, done that. 

It's nail-biting and just plain emotionally exhausting.  I wish all applicants lots and lots of luck.  The job is WELL worth all the pain and agony of the hiring process.  Times infinity.  So hang in there!  Beacuse life gets a million times better when you get off the Register and onto the Class List!  

"The TSA Sucks"

True dat, my friend.  True dat! 

Let's Talk Money (or: Training for A Year or More is Wicked 'Spensive)

Not very many folks blog about the financial aspect of being with State.  But our family has run into an interesting topic, so I've decided to talk about it. 


It's pretty... boring, actually.  No fun pictures for you, I'm afraid.  But since it's about money, maybe you'll find it interesting anyway.


Here's what you need to know in order to understand our family's financial dilemma du jour:


~  James was initially hired by State in 2008.  He trained all the way through to 2009.  His initial assignment was to Houston, Texas.  The housing market is pretty stable there.  Thus, we bought a house.  (And remodeled it.  Top to bottom.)


~  When he bid off the NOW list and got Chengdu, China, last month, we knew that getting Chengdu came with going to language school (Mandarin) for 44/45 weeks so that he would get a 2/2 in a super hard language.  BONUS!  Totally what we wanted.  SCORE!


~  However, the position he took also comes with lots and lots of additional, non-language training.  The different parts of his training, language and all, would be in excess of a year long.  Oops.  Bad financial things happen to you when you're in training for up to or over a year, as we are learning. 


When we were first told we'd gotten Chengdu (full story here), James' CDO told him that we would have to choose between being PCS (Permanent Change of Station) or TDY (I think it stands for Temporary Duty) during his more-than-a-year training.  Here's what those choices mean:

To PCS:

To "PCS" would mean that we would be Permanently Changed from Houston, Texas, to the Washington DC area.  As in: moved there.  Our stuff moved there, him transferred there on paper, the works.


Financially, to PCS would mean to give up our ability to be put in housing (like Oakwood) during training and to give up any per diem during that time, as well (except for the 60 days of housing and per diem during a domestic move).  It would mean that we were being assigned to Washington DC as though we lived there.  We would have to rent somewhere during his training, and that's a LOT of money around here.


The pros to PCSing, though, would be that we would be moving from one domestic assignment (Houston) to another (Washington DC), and since those two domestic posts are more than 50 miles away from each other, this triggers our ability to sell our Houston house and have State reimburse our closing costs. 

To TDY:

TDY is what almost everyone in training is doing.  They're staying at an Oakwood, or housing is otherwise covered, and they're getting per diem, and that's that.  Easy shmeezy, good stuff.


BUT:  listen up, folks.  For when you will be in training for a year or more, ALL FINANCIAL BENEFITS THAT THE GOVERNMENT SPENT ON YOU DURING TRAINING BECOMES TAXABLE AS THOUGH IT HAD BEEN INCOME FOR YOU.  As in: your "taxable income" on your W2 includes every penny the government spent on your housing or per diem as though it was income you earned.  Whoops! 


Also, if we chose to TDY instead of PCS, we would NOT get closing costs covered for our house.  So, it's a tradeoff.


So.


Yesterday afternoon, James' CDO emailed him and asked us what our choice was:  will it be PCS or TDY? 


So I freaked out and got on Facebook (as is my personal wont... love you, State ladies!), and emailed experienced people whom I knew were awake (HA!  You cannot escape, Jen!), and in general lost my blessed mind because this is a HUGE financial decision and it was time for the rubber to meet the road... the frying pan to leap into the fire... you get it.


When he came back from training yesterday evening, James (and I) grabbed a calculator, a lot of paper, a ruler, and the Regs and crunched some numbers. A  LOT of numbers.  And just because I'm a sucker for punishment, I will put up our pros/cons lists.  Because certainly, James and I will not be the only people in the world to whom this is happening (or will happen to): 

TDY Pros/Cons:

Pros:


No having to pay rent for while we're in training (HUGE consideration, but what is spent on our housing becomes our taxable income)


Per diem (for James only) for the year (which also becomes taxable income)

No income taxes to the state of Virginia

No losing the % difference in locality from between Texas and DC (Houston is higher)

No worries about where to live or where to rent (you go to an Oakwood and you're DONE)

Cons:


SUBSTANTIAL Federal income tax hit (and that's IN ADDITION to your normal taxes/SSI, etc., NOT INSTEAD of them), since the money State paid on your behalf for housing and/or per diem during your training becomes your own taxable income

Carrying the house in Texas during training and China (No, renting it out isn't an option.  We just remodeled the whole thing, and are terrified to rent it out.)

The Unknown:  The housing market may go up or down (it's pretty good right now).  A hurricane may hit.  The world may end, etc.

There's no way we'd ever be lucky enough to get posted to Houston again (and live in the house long term again).  Getting posted to Houston is like... winning the lottery (in a statistical sense.  The financial aspect is good, too).  If it happens to you, you're blessed by the bidding gods; it won't ever happen to you twice in one lifetime.

PCS  Pros/Cons:

Pros:


Get to sell the house in Houston and have closing costs reimbursed now, instead of four to seven years from now (whenever we have another domestic assignment)


Per diem for 60 days (not a year, like TDY), but for all 4 of us (not just James, like TDY), but at least it doesn't ultimately become taxable income

Get the $1,000 miscellaneous allowance for moving

Don't have to carry the Houston house financially or emotionally while in training or in China

Get to live with our own things for the year we're in training

More space for our family if we rent somewhere than if we live at an Oakwood (because, certainly, no matter what we rent, it would be larger than an Oakwood place.)

Cons:


Have to pay RENT during TRAINING (GAH!  Noooo! A HUGE amount of money!)


Smaller paycheck because DC locality is less than Houston

Smaller paycheck because VA has an income tax and Texas doesn't.  (Ugh.  This Florida/Texas family HATES state income taxes!)

~  ~  ~

In the end, if one does not own a house that one is hoping to sell and get closing costs for, going TDY is the better financial option.  The federal income tax hook is NOT large enough to negate paying RENT in DC for a YEAR.  (But it is VERY large!  And an unknown!)


(On the other hand, many people really, really want to live with their own things for that year of training.  Truth be told, James is sort of this way.  He misses having a mattress that is actually COMFORTABLE.  And so, that would tend to make PCSing be a better choice for some.  Because, can you put a price on a comfy mattress, a bigger place to live in for your children, or having your own dishes or holiday items?)


However, for us, to be able to sell the house and get our closing costs reimbursed... plus to not have to carry the house while we're in training or, long-term, while we're in China, made the PCS option a better one for us. 


Short-term, PCS is financially tough, but long-term, it's a better choice for us. 


Thus, when this current training class of James' is over (in the end of July), we will go back to Houston to primp the house, list the house, pack out, and move back here in September to start language training on a PCS basis. 


I hope this long, boring, financial post ends up benefiting someone out there!  


And if anyone owns a(n) (unfurnished, 3+ bedroom, 2+ bath) place really near FSI, and is looking for renters for about ten months or so (from about November of this year to fall of the next?), let me know.  We're all non-smokers and we don't own any pets.  :)

Just Curious (or: Questions that Need to be Asked)

We are, of course, grateful to be able to take advantage of living at our Oakwoody Offshoot (not The Mothership) while James is in training for our next post (Chengdu, China).


However, there are some day-to-day complications with this. 


For example, as Devonnaire pointed out recently, all drinking glasses are the same in the Oakwood kitchen.  Which, I'm sure, isn't a problem for the typical person staying at the Oakwood.  But we homeschool, and so most of us are basically here all day.  Sooooo....


I usually walk into the kitchen and ask myself the same question:  Which drinking glass is mine?


Is it...





The one by the toaster?


Or is it....






The one by the knife set?


Or maybe it's...

the one by the microwave?


Hmmmm....


(This is normally the time when I just GIVE UP and go get myself a different water glass.) 


But I am loathe to get rid of the other ones that are already out on the counter, for what if my boys have a better grasp on reality than I do, and I inadvertently stick theirs in the dishwasher? 


You see the problem.  And by the end of the day, there are about a hundred million drinking glasses out. 


And here's an even MORE pressing question:







Which one of you people had a ROCKIN' party outside of our Oakwood apartment and didn't invite US? 


Because you're TOTALLY BUSTED.  I saw this bottle when I was walking around taking pictures of flowers, and now I know that you're out there having some serious fun without us. 


NICE.